The pants of a clown

(When Vincent's no longer around.) I totally didn't get Neck-Boy's couture-esque dress this week, and have no idea how it won. Honestly, my reaction to his choice of fabric was as follows: "clown pants."

Now, there's some sad things known to man, but ain't too much sadder than whatever the hell is happening on that bodice.

Okay, folks, so let's review:

Yeah, I don't get it, either. I'm not a huge fan of Kayne's work, but I can at least see the lines my eye is meant to follow and ascertain the shape of the woman wearing it. Neck-Boy's dress obscures the model's torso with a bunch of whickety-whack for no reason whatsoever. It's like "Nude Descending a Staircase" goes golfing.

Only with more absurdity.

Everybody kinda disappointed me this episode. Vincent basically made a couch with a valance, then ham-handedly hit on designer/guest judge Catherine Malandrino in Paris. Vincent, just like Pagliacci did, you've got to keep your feelings hid. At least I won't have to hear him talk about how anything has turned him on or gotten him off anymore.

Uli made... a... vrrrrr.... [snort] huh? Sorry. Kinda dozed off there. Uli made the same damn dress she makes every week, only with a single, beautiful stormcloud color and lots of beading. I mean, it's a gorgeous dress, but we've seen its ilk before, week after week, plus I've got to deduct at least a couple points for the lack of bra-wearing opportunity.

Speaking of which, did Laura's contribution look ... familiar to anyone?

No? Just me, then? Damn, what is it with this woman and showing off the sternum? I think the next challenge for the designers should be: design a garment that allows and conceals proper foundation garments. Laura's head might explode, though.

Of course, my head would've exploded if my darling Michael had been auf'ed. If he'd done the neckline with the doohickeys tucked in like Richard Tyler requested, resulting in a kind of sculpted sweetheart neckline, the dress would have been much better. And what the hell was Tyler saying during deliberation, that Michael should have thrown himself in the path of an egg nobody saw coming (which was probably meant for Neck-Boy)? I don't get it.

But don't let this smile I wear make you think that I don't care. We're down to the final 5, and I like and admire all of the remaining designers (with one glaring, suppurating exception). I'm worried that the super-secret bonus for this episode's win will have some payoff that propels Neck-Boy into the Final 3. And there definitely ain't too much sadder than that.

Comments

[Lorraine]

The Neighbor and I were watching last night, as per usual, and we came to the conclusion that neither of us have a lick of fashion sense when something like that horror of Neck Boy's can win over anything remotely attractive. And yeah, I guess Laura's dress did look like Ron's dress robes, now that you mention it...although that collar was way hotter in Paris than it ended up being in New York. Still, made my heart go pitter pat seeing Laura standing there with Vincent. Scary notion, that. I'm just worried now that her pregnancy is going to get in the way of her doing whatever she has to do to get into the final 3. Oh. Look. I wrote a whole comment and forgot to mention how much I still hate Neck Boy. Fancy that.

[Susanna]

Hey - Vincent's interview with EW is up and he is completely nuts.

Completely. But we knew that.

http://www.ew.com/ew/report/0,6115,1532414_3||321057_0_,00.html

[Cheesemeister]

I think that dress may be made from a cheap shower curtain.

[ToasterStrudel]

The yellow dress does look a bit like it's been at a picnic: first someone washed it in mustard and then they sprayed it with ketchup!! It's a great fabric, for something, but I'm not sure it was meant to be a dress.