You know, some concepts should never be combined. Sometimes, two great tastes simply don't taste great together. "You got your prurient material in my holiday decorations!" "Aw, your holiday crapped all over my prurient materials!"
Much as it pains me to do so, I give you... pornaments.
One of the most beautiful, profound spiritual philosophies, to my mind, is that of Baruch Spinoza, who posited that God is in everything, and that all that exists is God. I believe I've found the exception to that belief. There is no God in pornaments.
Would it surprise you to hear that you can get these at Spencer Gifts? It really shouldn't.
At least the snowfolk seem to be having a good time. The poor rein...doe? seems to be just barely withstanding the attentions of... Donner? Prancer? One of 'em.
And these just kill me. If you look closely, you can see what looks like -- sweet Annie Sprinkle -- a little gumdrop clitoris. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Lately, pornaments have been in the news around the country and have even received international attention (Europe is laughing at us again...). The fact that pornaments are being picketed by hardcore Baptists who screech "What about the children?!" puts me in the odd position of wanting to defend them out of sheer reflex. But ultimately, no. The enemy of my enemy isn't necessarily my friend, especially when I suspect that I'm watching snow-sodomy.