While this house probably wouldn't even make an appearance on one of those "Wacky Christmas Decorating" specials, and it's certainly not fodder for Ugly Christmas Lights, I'm utterly awed by the time, money and energy one of my neighbors puts into their annual holiday festival of lights. I'm not even mocking, here; I'm genuinely impressed!
Let's break it down by section...
- The perimeter lights are the most basic requirement. Note that the garage structure and the garage door are both outlined.
- There's a collection of light-up folks around the garage, most notably an outlined Santa and a light-up Virgin Mary with a wreath behind her. The mailbox is blocking an outlined reindeer.
- Oh, you've gotta have Snoopy. Wouldn't be Christmas without him.
- More outlined reindeer; here a mini-herd of two. Also, the beginnings of the nativity scene, as the light-up Magi approach the creche.
- The tree obscures this, but there's more light-up Santas (plural!) in the upstairs window.
- And don't forget the Christmas tree with additional light-up Santas in the downstairs front room.
- More Santas. I've counted a total of seven so far -- and that's with Snoopy disqualified.
- The door is marked with an elongated star and two light-up candles flanking it, just in case you can't find it among all the lights.
That damn tree is blocking another light-up critter, but it's holding an outlined angel, so I guess it evens out.
- The nativity scene proper: Mary, Joseph, Little Eight-Pound Six-Ounce Baby Jesus, a camel and a shepherd. There's something in front of the shepherd, but for the life of me, I can't figure out what it is.
- Two more Santas, and I think the one on the right might be Mrs. Claus (Visible Santa Count: 9)
- More perimeter lights around the top of the first story, plus an outlined tree in the front yard. (I totally respect them for not putting the lights on the second story. J and I have clear icicle lights hanging from the top of our first story, and it might not be logical that we'd have icicles on only one level of the house, but I don't care. Ain't nobody getting up on the fully-extended ladder unless a mammal's life is at stake.)
- More Clauses (VSC: 11.)
- Assorted outline things hung in trees: a candy cane, a stocking, a snowman and what I think might be an elf behind the tree.
- Here we have an interesting juxtaposition: What appears to be a Semitic youth -- the Little Drummer Boy, perhaps? -- with some companion I can't determine, grouped with a pair of Victorian carolers.
And then, at the far left end of the house, on the other side of the driveway, a line of snowfolk stands watch:
What's truly amazing about the displays is that the items I've ticked off aren't the full extent of the decor. There are partial Santas all over the place; two disembodied light-up Santa heads float eerily on the left-hand outside wall of the garage. There are several items that I can't even identify in the front yard, and I haven't even checked out the back. I'd actually love to get a peek around there, because I'm sure there's some kind of elaborate generator-and-circuit-box setup for this whole shooting match. But this is the South, and just 'cause it's Christmas don't mean you won't get your ass shot for trespassing.
Speaking of P-Town, I saw this video with great interest. Although I eventually realized that the Portsmouth he spoke of was somewhere in Ohio, this video really speaks to the Portsmouth I live in as well. In fact, I'm convinced that I went to high school with some variation on that guy 20 years ago. And I'm kind of glad that someone wants to bring Portsmouth back. 'Cause Portsmouth is definitely not going to get off the couch and come back on its own; in fact, it was hoping you'd get it a beer while you're up.