Not all gloom and doom in the Tomb

This is my entry in Nathaniel's Action Heroine Blog-a-Thon. Being the massive Jolie fangirl that I am, I jumped at the chance to write about what makes her so damn watchable as Lara Croft in Tomb Raider, despite the fact that the film itself is awful. (I'm not even going to touch the sequel; it was even worse than the original, if you can believe that.)

And yet, whenever Tomb Raider appeared on cable in the early '00s, I'd watch it. What drew me in? It wasn't the clever plot. It wasn't the razor-sharp dialogue. It wasn't the breathless sense of excitement or tension. It wasn't the special effects. No, it was something more dazzling than all of the above put together.

Angelina Jolie's smile.

It takes a little bit to get to that smile. In fact, the film seems determined to focus on Lara Croft as "hott killing mo-sheen" at first. (Which is part of my problem with the whole game series. I have never played a Tomb Raider game because of their Lara-leering obsession, and during the games' heyday of popularity, I referred to them as "Magic Titty Adventure" to the annoyance of my gamer pals.) We open with...

Then the camera rotates 270 degrees and we see that...

And soon she's...

Lara whales away on a homicidal robot until she yanks out its main processor and disarms the beast. Now would be the time for a cynical one-liner. Oh, but look!

Throughout the movie, Jolie does amazing feats of action-heroics, and she has her game face on while accomplishing them. But afterward, she usually breaks into her trademark wildcat grin, as if to say, "Holy goddamn. Look what I just did. Isn't that cool?!" It's like she's ... having fun!

I get a real sense of Lara's (and Jolie's) enjoyment of her physical prowess watching this clip, where she bungee-bounces in her jammies in the great hall of her manor house. I think it combines the grace and the daredevil aspects of the character beautifully.

Of course, life isn't all fun and games for Lara. She's still mourning the loss of her father, long disappeared and presumed dead.

Plus, she has to shower sometimes, which means lots of hair-flips with those extensions, and you know they've got to weigh a ton when they're wet.

Then there are the fanboys who feverishly scan the video in slo-mo for a shot of side-boob instead of just renting Gia like everybody else.

There. Side-boob. You happy now?

Anyway. I can't decide how to take the utter lameness of the movie's villain. On the one hand, Lara's biggest enemy seems to be her own sorrow and regret. On the other hand, damn, couldn't we get somebody a little bit scary for Lara to face off against?

I could kick this guy's ass, for crap's sake.

Check that. My cats could kick this guy's ass. (And they'd probably bat him around a bit first.)

At least Lara is given something of a worthy love interest, although they barely touch and there's some reference to a past there and... damn, can't a butt-whompin' woman get a little action from Daniel Craig?

Apparently not. In a nice bit of turnaround, though, Craig gets his own shower scene, and in a tense discussion over where his character's loyalties lie, he's the one without a towel.

What? Oh, come on! You've had your side-boob shot!

Clearly, Lara is supposed to be made more flawed (hence believable, hence real) by the difficulties with men in her life, be they absent, distant, missing-presumed-dead, or...

... just kinda doofy. (Noah Taylor does the best he can with the sidekick role, but he's given so little to work with.) And, of course, there are no other female characters in the movie, with a couple of exceptions:

"Stay right here and I'll go find some adoption paperwork!"

"You wouldn't happen to be an orphan by any chance, would you?" (Last adoption joke, I promise.)

"You know, I don't think we've got a Siberian member of the family yet..." (I lied!)

Anyway, after the bad guy has been foiled, dead-dad closure has been attained, the deadly explosion has been outrun, Lara returns home, and her training for the next mission begins. The movie closes with this shot...

...but I think it's missing the point. I'd prefer to think of the film ending as Lara dogsleds (without the sled) through a cave after the deadly explosion, laughing like crazy and loving the hell out of her life.

That's why I watch Tomb Raider.

Comments

[colinr]

Great analysis of a flawed film. I agree completely, Angelina Jolie is what made the film and she was absolutely perfect for the role.You should check out the Tomb Raider games some time, it is great fun and that same spirit of fun and adventure is present there, with a lot of the same jokes played on the 'fanboys'! Jolie's shower scene is actually a call back to the ending of the Tomb Raider II game where the slavering target audience are locked out of Lara's bathroom! Sadly the game creators did get caught up in the publicity and getting her put on magazine covers semi-nude, which was a big mistake, but on the other hand the original creator of Lara Croft left the game series in disgust when they did that coming back with the latest two games (as detailed in the DVD documentary that comes with the latest Tomb Raider game, Tomb Raider:Anniversary). That same documentary (and the DVD to the first film) sadly focuses on the marketeers, company managers and producers puriently slavering over what a fine looking woman Lara is, but sadly that's the kind of reaction that might be expected of them!

I can't think of a more appropriate actress to play Lara Croft than Angelina Jolie (maybe Monica Belluci, but I couldn't imagine Belluci without her French accent and with a cut-glass English one instead) - however it just makes it more upsetting that she was let down in both films (and I agree I didn't think there could be much worse than the first until I saw Jan De Bont's poor effort!).

[Anna]

Love this post! Guaranteed for life I will think of you whenever I see Jolie smile! Very astutely observed.

[SueBee]

You are right. You could kick that guys butt. Have you noticed the correlation between Lara's men & Jolie's men? " absent (daddy), distant (hubby), missing-presumed-dead(exes) or just kinda doofy (brother). Makes sense she was perfect for the role. Even though she doesn't actually adopt onscreen. Ponder that, Pinkie.

[Nathaniel R]

This was hilarious.

highlarious. the sideboob. LOL.

i love Angie but it's been hard to remember that with the lack of films i've been interested in. But this reminded me of her natural charisma.

[BronzeMan]

I liked Tomb Raider, but I have to admit, I've gotten tired of Angelina Jolie in recent years. I think the media over-exposed her and she seemed to get distracted by a lot of political crusades that she feels strongly about but doesn't understand very well. I've always wanted to believe her to be intelligent, and that was part of her sexiness from the beginning. But then when they interview her about African orphanages, Vietnamese adoptions, Russian media censorship and refugees in the Middle East -- all stuff she has tried to make a big statement on -- her responses get shallower and shallower, until now she seems to speak in fortune-cookie maxims. If she could pick some cause and focus fully on it instead of being so overextended, maybe that wouldn't happen. Unfortunately, I'm not alone in my reaction, as a lot of Jolie's fan base is feeling bewildered, and in some cases annoyed, by what has come across as her preaching. She and Brad just aren't as smart as Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins, so they should stick to looking pretty and give money to foundations that can finance researchers and advocates who actually have the time to look into these issues.

[Petals]

I love the games and I think she was perfect for the part. Believe it or not, I totally forgot that Daniel Craig was in that movie!