Photo taken outside our home:
Me: I know. It's not just that they're Truck Nutz—
J: Which is bad enough.
Me: Which is totally bad enough. But they're so...
Me: Ewww! But, yeah, they're so large, it's just unreal. I wouldn't want to meet the guy those were attached to.
J: I'm not even sure they make human balls in that size. Those are from an elk or something.
Me: I don't think I'd want to meet that elk, either.
J: And they're hanging really low. Like, there's a really old-ass elk who's been flappin' free all his life.
Me: They need a bra.
J: And then to make them gold, and on a navy-blue truck, so that's where your eye is automatically drawn to.
Me: I know! Your eye is drawn there, but then you have to look away immediately because they're so awful.
J: This guy hates everyone who drives behind him.
Me: He hates everyone who parks near him, too, 'cause when you look closely, you can see that they're all... worn.
J: Well, see, that's lifelike, 'cause an old-ass elk would have some pretty scuffed-up balls after a while.
Me: I can't argue with that.