I've got... something. Something kinda flu-ish, with some impressive chest congestion to boot. The thing is, I don't know if what I have is swine flu or just regular (heifer?) flu.
I actually checked the CDC website earlier today and read: "The symptoms of 2009 H1N1 flu virus in people include fever, cough, sore throat, runny or stuffy nose, body aches, headache, chills and fatigue. Some people may have vomiting and diarrhea." But that doesn't really help me out.
Apparently, the achiness and diarrhea/vomiting are what really set swine flu apart. Unfortunately, they're also both fairly common aspects of my life. As a 38-year-old behemoth who does Muay Thai kickboxing 3 times a week with the ferocity of a teenager, I'm in a near-constant state of achiness and mild fatigue. And as a woman with PCOS who takes Metformin twice a day to help with the insulin resistance... well, let's just say that my lower intestinal tract could reasonably be called "tempestuous."
Fever-wise, my internal thermometer is going from one extreme to the other. I'll feel cold, so I'll snuggle into something fleecy I got at Target, but then I get over-hot so I'll turn on the fan or open a window and before long the cycle repeats itself. The cats are clearly losing patience with me. Just not enough to move to another room.
I've also got my most telltale symptom of illness: the overwhelming desire to snuggle everyone around me (and maybe cry a little as I do so). My mom used to theorize that this behavior was some sneaky evolutionary trick developed by whatever virus I had to ensure its spread throughout the population.
So that's me today: sneezing on the regular, coughing up some truly unsettling stuff, coated with a mild sweat from my last temperature cycle (special to my mom: no, these are not hot flashes), and having my usual achy muscles and tetchy GI tract. And demanding a hug.
It might as well be swine flu, 'cause I'm wallowing in it.