Just when I thought she couldn't get any more terrifying, New York premiered her new hooters at VH1's recent "Big in '06" (rimshot!) awards. My apologies for not relaying these horrifying images to you sooner, but I try to avoid bullshit awards shows.
Well, at least she no longer looks exactly like Carl Weathers.
Uhf. I approached the reunion of Flavor of Love 2 like a stash of Halloween candy, but before long I had that uncomfortable feeling you get when you overdo it with the Twizzlers and Milk Duds. No matter how appealing they are at first, the squawking, trifling antics of the various skanks soon reveal their fundamental lack of nourishment and general health.
And then there's this guy.
This year, my sweetie and I saluted Flavor of Love. It's pretty obvious who J. is, but as you can't quite see my fake belt buckle, I should clarify that I'm a supersized Buckwild. I couldn't maintain the accent at all -- but hey! Neither could she!
Hope y'all are handling your sugar hangovers today like the champions I know you are. The recap of the reunion show should be up later today, boyyyeeeee!
Let me apologize for the recap being a day late. There were a couple of external factors (the late air time, my beast of a cold), but honestly, after watching this episode, I just felt drained. It was like the time I watched the "Farting Preacher" videos over and over all afternoon and laughed so hard for so long that I felt emotionally wiped out. However, the finale of Flavor of Love lacks the light-heartedness of Robert Tilton accompanied by an enthusiastic, well-timed whoopie cushion.
Not that a farting soundtrack wouldn't make moments like this a little easier to take.
New York's Moms, that is! Yes, she's back, in all her fire-breathing glory, every bit as unpleasant as I recalled and willing to do anything, including lying about a terminal medical condition, to get her daughter out of Flav's clutches.
That's the face of evil, y'all. Oh, and the other skanks' parents show up too -- as do the next generation of Flavs!
There was a distinctly nasal tone to this week's episode. Between Bootz's snapping, Krazy's singing and New York's perpetual pouting and complaining, I'm surprised my own sinuses didn't start vibrating out of some sort of sympathetic resonance.
Let me just say this preemptively: shut the fuck up, all y'all skanks. You too, Flav.
I'm still just dumbstruck by how much vitriol and drama is stirred up in the name of Flav. This episode seemed to be one nonstop fight between various skanks in different permutations. For the first time, though, we saw a clear team strategy, as Buckeey, Deelishis and Bootz joined forces against Krazy and New York. Not that New York is on Krazy's side; the only crazy New York sides with is her own.
My thoughts exactly, Big Rick. (Good to see you again!)
This was a bittersweet episode for me. On the one hand, I'm actually sad to see the departing contestants go; I liked them all. On the other hand, now that I actively dislike everyone else on the show, I don't care who gets hurt anymore. And that's a pretty liberating feeling.
Honestly, as long as New York winds up miserable, unemployable and socially exiled, I'll be happy. That's not too much to ask, is it? Especially when she does so much of the work herself?
There's something seriously amiss with the world when an episode of Flavor of Love leaves me feeling angry, frustrated, upset and kind of offended. You'd think I'd be beyond all of that, having studied this blight of a show so extensively. But I think there's a limit to how much you can mock and exploit even skanks, and this episode pushed that limit for me.
On the other hand, some of them deserve all the mocking and exploitation the universe can throw their way, and then some.
