I'm starting to get a weird feeling of deja vu for these reunion shows. This is the third such show I've watched in about a year, so no wonder they're all kind of running together. I imagine there'll be some stupid video, some mortifying moments of hubris, some "hold me back!" faux fighting and several "oooooooh!" calls from the audience. (It occurs to me that I've just described a typical "Maury" episode, and frankly, that messes with my head a little.)
This is also only the third time I've seen LaLa. Maybe one day I'll understand why she's on TV.
This episode of I Love New York did a number on me. Yeah, yeah, they told me in the previews that the finale would blow my mind, but I didn't think they'd actually be right. I figured we'd have a typical finale with the exotic locale and the day-and-night-long dates followed by a lot of soul-searching and monologuing on New York's part, followed by the inevitable choosing of Chance and the tearful departure of Tango.
I was right about maybe 40% of that, and way, way wrong about everything else. My reaction to this episode has been so strong that to adequately convey it, I must resurrect an old shot of the departed Rico:
This recap will mostly be video clips tied together with the flimsiest of prose. Unlike the disappointing clip show from Flavor of Love's second season, this episode of I Love New York is almost like a valentine. It's a tribute to loves lost, loves let go and loves giving lap dances to the gay sidekick. I sense that the editors are as fed up with the cast as I am, and have decided to let us know the varying degrees of ick that permeated this set.
It's mama drama time on I Love New York, as the two mothers of the remaining three dudes are brought to the mansion for ritual humiliation. (Well, only one of them receives that, and it's really more like random, impromptu humiliation.) Will New York come between two brothers? Will she open her heart to the genuine, not-at-all-manufactured-for-television love of Tango?
After last week's extravaganza of ridiculousness, this episode is pretty tame. It's the traditional "out of town" episode, where the final four are split up into pairs, each of which accompanies New York on a "travel" date. (Assuming a 110-mile road trip counts as travel.) The only notable development is that just about everyone except Whiteboy acts the drunken fool on this episode.
They say a truly great chef can take boring ingredients and combine them in a way that exhilarates the palate. So it is with this episode of I Love New York. It's got so many of the standard elements I've come to expect of this show: screaming, boozing, pointless drama, fights I don't understand, Chance making a fool of himself. And yet it captivated me.
This episode of I Love New York celebrated the extremes of gender stereotypes, from a frilly pink princess party to a boxing ring spattered with blood. So I guess it's no surprise that everyone came out looking ridiculous and at least slightly dehumanized. Oh, wait. That happens just about every episode, doesn't it?
Well, it looks like my theory about I Love New York episodes being like Star Trek films, in that every other one bores me, is holding steady so far. This episode was really kinda drab despite the presence of:
a one-on-one b-ball tournament
a threesome date
an allegedly orgasm-inducing massage
a balcony scene
not one but two insect attacks.
The editors performed their usual magic, but they only had so much to work with.
And remember, no matter what you might think, none of these screen shots are scenes from a porno.
This episode of I Love New York focused on ... er ... hands-on experiences, but I think a lot of deep philosophical meaning can be taken from observing the interactions of New York and the dudes -- and doing the exact opposite.
(If not for that little VH1 logo in the corner, I'd swear this episode was composed solely of "fast-forward" scenes from a spectacularly cheesy porno.)