Once again, a season finale has delivered a touch of drama where I least expected it. I thought for sure Matt was the anointed winner, the Golden Child of Top Design. But near the end, there... I wondered if maybe Carisa's bold, energetic design might snake the win from Matt's classy, yet boring loft.
I mean, honestly, this is where the magic happens in Matt-land. Woo hoo.
Continue reading "The dauphin of design is crowned. Yippee." »
You'd think the penultimate episode of Top Design would be more exciting, more suspenseful, more... interesting. But no. The three remaining designers do almost exactly what you'd expect them to do in pretty much the way you'd expect them to do it. The ending isn't even unexpected so much as it is disappointing.
Even Kelly's outfit isn't excitingly bad (although I do wonder why Margaret Russell decided to make a dress out of a sauna suit). Foo.
Actually, I wouldn't call this episode of Top Design hell. Unless maybe it's that Sartrean hell in No Exit, where you're just stuck with people being themselves for eternity. (Fact: I once tried to create a "Hell Is Other People" cross-stitch for my apartment. Never had the time to finish it.) Matt is still quiet, still doing his understated chic thing; Andrea is still overthinking things and shying away from vibrant colors; Carisa is still being a brat and griping about her carpenter; Goil is still looking at everything in a new way, but is perilously close to losing his mind.
And Kelly? She's Mrs. Roper.
Dammit, Top Design. I came thisclose to loving this episode! On the one hand, it's finally (finally!) an individual challenge, so I get to see more of each designer's personal style. On the other hand, I simply did not need to see that guest judge.
And poor Goil is coming apart at the seams again. Hang in there, bowl-of-noodles guy!
And frankly, I would cry too if it happened to me. Although it probably wouldn't, 'cause I'm a loud, overbearing sumbitch, but we're getting ahead of ourselves here.
He feels like Jan Brady. And he doesn't want to feel like Jan Brady. Andrea, Andrea, Andrea!
Continue reading "It's his party; Goil will cry if he wants to" »
The more I watch Top Design, the more I get the feeling that one of two things is true: that I have a much better sense of color and simplicity of line than a lot of these contestants, or that I'm truly clueless as to interior design and don't know good work when I see it. Then there's my lack of small-scale mechanical ability. 'Cause I could have designed a much better garage makeover than the winning design this week... but I don't think I could've built a model of it in only two hours.
Then again, some folks can do neither.
As I've noted before, my faith in my own ability to divine the substance of a person's soul based solely on tiny video snippets shown on reality TV has been sorely tested. But I feel like I'm getting my groove back on that one. To wit, this week's episode of Top Design managed to reinforce my opinion of just about everybody. And given my theory that reality TV exists to make us, the viewers, feel better about ourselves, the show has accomplished its mission admirably.
Incredibly, this was not the least appealing look from Ryan this week.
Is it just me, or is there something a little cruel about airing an episode about beach cabanas while the northeast quarter of the country is covered in sleet? (Totally unintentional, but still, a tad cruel.) It's as if Top Design were mocking everyone who's had to thaw out a frozen-solid dog dish this week. But things weren't all hot and sunny; while Michael's improved attitude has taken him off my irritant list, Carisa and Ryan have both barged their way onto it.
At least once a day, I grumble, "Damn kids" (often in a thick drawl). I don't actually have kids, or even semi-regular contact with anybody else's kids, but I find that they make a handy scapegoat for everything under the sun. I wouldn't be surprised to find that some of the designers in this week's episode of Top Design might have uttered my little catchphrase more than once, especially considering that quite a few of their children's bedroom designs were worthy of condemnation.
Oh, yeah. They're back in the bottom two.
I'm not going to promise you anything, but I think I might start blogging about Top Design on Bravo. I'm still filled with hate and bile after the deplorable depravity that was Season 2 of Top Chef, so I hope this show is a vast improvement, if only to lessen the bad taste in my mouth from Everybody Hates Marcel, as I came to call it.
Already there's abrasive, unpleasant and flat-out obnoxious personalities in the competition (see photo), but as long as nobody is assaulted, I'm fine with that.
