[Originally posted July 3, 2006 at MySpace]
It's not every day you see a blow job on HBO. In fact, you're not allowed to see them on HBO at all, ever, so Jason and I were quite startled to see one last night when we caught a snippet of one of those "Real Sex" shows. Our mutual "huh?" was settled when we realized that only one of the partners in the activity was alive. Then we shared a mutual "ick" with a side of "huh?" as it dawned on us that they've made a male Real Doll. (Link not completely safe for work.)
What's a Real Doll, you ask? It's a human-shaped, 125-pound silicone sex toy, basically. You can order a doll with a variety of customized parts (don't think about it too much) to create your dream partner without having to actually deal with another human being. Yay?
The dolls were originally designed to be sex partners for people with severe physical disabilities (spinal injuries, that kind of thing) but before long, their main market became dudes with severe psychosocial disabilities. (Like this guy -- remember him, my beloved Austin peeps?)
Now there's a male version of the doll, so everyone can enjoy a little light necrophilia. What's odd is that the "Real Sex" segment stated that the male Real Doll was designed for women. Jason and I were surprised to hear that and kept muttering to each other, "I really don't think they understand their market." We eventually postulated that you could put a vibrating tongue attachment in the dude's open mouth -- but that very mouth indicated a male consumer for the doll.
This being "Real Sex," a truly strange scene followed the "news" portion of the segment. Three indistinguishable porn actresses had a group... "romp" is the only word that comes to mind, with the doll. It was sort of like a female circle jerk focused on a male effigy, with some unnerving undertones. The way the women kept insisting that this slab of plastic was the ultimate guy disturbed the hell out of me, and the inclusion of an ejaculation function was just flat-out mystifying. Maybe it's a fetish or something; I don't know.
But the creepiest part, by far, was watching the women join forces at the end to move the Real Doll onto a bed (125 pounds, yo) and pose him. It was like watching a trio of tidy, yet tacky, serial killers at work. And I'm pretty sure it was no weirder than watching a guy with a female Real Doll would have been. So, um, hooray for equality.
Coda: The title for this entry was inspired by the Rob Zombie song "Living Dead Girl." What does it sound like, you ask? Like every other Rob Zombie song.
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