[Originally posted July 5, 2006 at MySpace]
It's a simple, wonderful fact: Make semi-regular visits to the ladies' room in any Southeastern Virginia bar, and sooner or later you'll hear some great stuff.
This inaugural installment is from a conversation overheard Saturday night between two fortysomething women in a Virginia Beach bar (they were about the median age of the clientele). I was mirror-peeking at a woman in a pink sequined top and jeans (yup: mid-forties and pink sequins, y'all), trying to figure out if her hair was a wig, 'cause her boobs were definitely not original equipment.
Pink Sequins was talking about her boyfriend to a buddy of hers in a leopard-print slip dress. Pink Sequins didn't enjoy going out with said boyfriend because he would expect her to stay close to him and not socialize with too many other people. She found this smothering and a little insulting. Leopard Print pointed out, "Well, honey, you committed [to him] too soon."
Pink Sequins countered, "But he was in bad shape and needed a place to stay when I met him. He was going through a divorce and ---" Now, I didn't really catch what she said after that, because every other woman in that ladies' room, myself included, all looked in the mirror and shook our heads in total agreement that the worst possible time in a guy's life to begin a relationship with him is during a divorce.
That moment of unanimity reminded me of the old "30 Helens Agree" skits from The Kids in the Hall. I could just see it: "6 women in the ladies' room agree: [as a chorus] Don't date him until long after the divorce is final." One of us would say, "Let him heal on his own, honey." Another would chime in, "Just because he's been kicked out of his old place doesn't mean he's ready to live with you." Then the narrator would conclude, "Yes, 6 women in the ladies' room agree: Don't date him until long after the divorce is final."
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