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July 20, 2006



Oh, Malan.

I just want him to become Karl Lagerfeld. But in a good way. Like without the creepy fingerless gloves, the hydroponically-farmed hair helmet, the spackled and shellacked and stretched skin, the weird jodphurs and the horsemeat diet.

But with the celebrity clientele, the big fashion house behind him, lots of adoring fans and all the Botox his sweet little heart desires.

And a really, really good family-systems therapist on speed dial to help him with that mommy stuff. And the daddy stuff. Which, sweet Jesus, is just written all over the poor thing's pretty face.


Oh, the hair. Bless his heart. J gleefully pointed out that it looked *just the same* when he awoke as it did during the day. Almost Travolta-esque.


Thinking, though, perhaps the accent is not fake.

To wit, dude speaks, at minimum five languages. So when you're a polyglot you get accenty like that.



You know, the whole Daniel/Chloe thing from last season left me feeling a bit off balance. Sort of like having a room of wine experts telling me Ripple Blanc is the new rage in Siena.

The travesty of aesthetics that went down last night, all in the name of ratings, just flat pissed me off. Ripple Blanc may be the rage in Ohio, but it's not selling for shit round here.

Gunn and Kors, RUN!


Who would you have picked for the win, Herm? (I'm genuinely curious, as I respect the hell out of your mad design skillz.)


I loved Malan! He looks like the product of a love tryst between Paul Henreid and Peter Lorre. What's not to love?

Butt ugly dress though....


Who would I have picked overall? Well... and I swear if you leak this to Bradshaw, Miller or McShaffry I'll hunt you down... I thought Kane's effort nailed the concept. Obviously he knows the subject matter, but I got the impression the muse did touch his orange brow and he delivered an inspired effort. The color choice was particularly good and suprised even the brilliant Ms. USA. No mean feat. So, I think they got the winner right.

I liked the work of Red and Michael. Razor sharp design with amazing craftsmanship, but they used white. If I was buying a gown for Susie, I would have picked that one.

Also liked Malan's piece. While it may have missed with the highly evolved tastes of our representative in the Ms. Who-Gives-A-Shit peagent I thought it revealed a depth of talent and grasp of design that could possibly eclipse even Red and Keith. I'll spare you the full-on Herm Trips Back to Design School speil and say I thought his elimination was grossly short-sighted.

That said, I'm out of here to go photograph intercoolers and other testosterone laden devices.

By the way, diggin' the blog. Nice work!


You see, the highly-esteemed Tim Gunn said the Malan gown looked like it was "carved out of a log."

And perhaps at that stage of its evolution it did. When it hit the runway it was a quasi-evolved couture-driven log... but not a turd! NOT A TURD!

After a total of 20 (?) hours' time allowed to work on it, he could've used another 20 hours. The guy is suited to do couture. One-of-a-kind, highly-crafted, extremely intricate garments that are very labor-intensive.

That thing would've been a beautifully carved log after 100 hours. Zowie!

Um, thanks, El Hermann for thinking of Red's & Michael's dress for me. It's the only one I could've worn. Though it was toying dangerously with ass-cleavage.

I also liked Uli's dress. Diaphanous, gorgeous. But can we buy girlfriend a bottle of shampoo (industrial degreaser?) and a hairbrush?


I still say Keith is hot. He may be bitchy and smarmy and probably has a few STDs but he's hot so there's that.

But I agree with you that Neck Boy is horrid. What in the world does his neck say? I can only read "Detroit"

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