Hot pants! How! Hot pants!

(That was a James Brown song, right? I didn't just make that up so long ago that it's become real to me, did I?)

Finally, a wrong is made right. Michael has won his first challenge on his own, with the help of his model, and with the exquisite Pam Grier serving as his muse. Great designer, great model, awesome inspiration -- you can't go wrong. Pam Grier totally would have worn that outfit, and she would have rocked it.

(Sorry the pic is so tiny; the Project Runway site is making it tricky to crib a shot of this particular outfit. Dear Lord, please don't sue me, nice people at Bravo.)

Ah, but with triumph must come loss. We say goodbye to Bradley, who has truly grown on me -- not as a designer; he's too flaky and disorganized for that. But there's just something so endearing about him. He's like a precocious toddler; you just want to pick him up and say, 'Take it easy, honey; we'll go get an ice cream and then we'll come back and start over.' Because that outfit he designed for Cher? Needed a time-out, a nap, a hug -- something. Anything.

It was an unfortunate marriage of two incompatible eras in the star's life -- two Cher-as, if you will. (Ow! Quit hitting me!) There was her metallic/goth phase, exemplified by the gown she wore to the Oscars in 1986 and symbolized by that garish Space Oddity top. And then there was the "Half-Breed" stage, symbolized by the sad little fringe on the pants. (Hell, perhaps the Navy-skank phase was represented by the aggressively camel-toe-causing rise in the pants. Hard to say.)

Even Tim Gunn seemed to mourn Bradley's loss. The way he said "Bradley..." before telling him to clear out his workspace indicated an unspoken "there, there." Swim free, little squid.

And speaking of unevolved life forms, after a momentary reprieve due to the influence of a cute dog, Neck-Boy is officially dead to me. Of all the things to slam Laura for, he picks being over 40? "I hope that bitch has a stroke" -- you're 36, you turd; 42 is just over the horizon. (Although, like I've said earlier, the neck tattoo probably indicates that mid-40s is his planned life expectancy.) And how interesting that he chose "frigid," when "cold" might have been a little closer to the truth. Yeah. Issues. Dead to me.

Adding to Michael's awesomeness was his unwillingness to pile on Angela -- whom he doesn't even like -- and his calling Neck-Boy on the scapegoating. The way he subtly mocked Jeffrey's "I'm just saying" made me so proud of him. And "Cap'n Save-a-Ho" was just the icing on the cake.

In a similar vein, Laura has now become my May-December Project Runway girlfriend -- although, as I pointed out to Neck-Boy, given how close our ages are, it's more like July-August. "Jeffrey, if you know so much about what you're doing, how come you're here?" I yelled "HA!" so loud, I woke up and terrified a sleeping cat.

I actually feel comfortable going back to hating Neck-Boy, especially considering the monstrosity he sent down the runway. Madonna has worn some dodgy outfits in her time (the current leotard-n-knickers ensembles make me want to shake her), but even she wouldn't go near an outfit that is so clearly the spiritual cousin of the skirt made of ties poor Kelly Clarkson had to wear in From Justin to Kelly.

So keep running your mouth and designing crap, Neck-Boy. I'll just be over here, imagining Pam Grier pummeling you into a thin red paste.

Comments

[Susanna]

Captain Save-A-'Ho is a superhero for our time.

I don't need to explain to you how his saying that glib phrase is entirely UN-sexist. You get this. God bless you.

Because there's all kinds of craziness going around about how he thinks women are HOs.

Gah. Wake up white people.

[Cath]

Really?? But he even clarified it with "as we say in the hood." I mean, nothing -- NOTHING -- in his words or actions has indicated that he has anything but the highest respect for women. He loves and admires his mama, fer chrissakes!

People are odd.

[nathanielr]

well, many a gangsta rapper love and admire their mammas and have all sorts of "issues" about women in their songs --bitches and hos and whatnot. so it's not like loving your mother indicates anything.

but still, Michael is clearly evolved. Standing up for Angela was so uber-cool. and I hate her.

Jeffrey definitely has disgusting 'i-hate-women' issues though. First he trots out the tired/lazy/grotesque "feminazi" phrase and now, this?

HATE. HIM.