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What a quotable episode this was! "That was a happy choice." "I'm the twist." "You're trapped in time, and the time is Elvis." Let me add to that: "I thought you couldn't make a jacket in a day, you walking pustule!"
Great. By giving his little rawk-poseur-by-way-of-Bedazzler costume the win, they're just encouraging him.
Continue reading "Because you just can't make a jerk happy" »
The midseason slump appears to have hit Flavor of Love. Despite the appearance of bad/strange/sleazy dancing, which is usually guaranteed to put a smile on my face, this episode left me feeling rather blah.
My thoughts exactly, Buckeey.
What's right with this picture? Everything -- except he should have a whole lot more of them, and Andre Braugher should be a household name rather than an "Oh, yeah! Him!"
I have been lucky enough to catch The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years twice on the Sundance channel this month. And I was wily enough to record it the second time.
Won't someone please think of the children?
...and sweet mother of God. Neck-Boy is so dead to me now that he's got a hideous Y-shaped incision on his torso and his internal organs have been removed, weighed and stuffed back inside his putrid carcass. I can't believe what a shit he was to Angela's mom.
And I can't believe that Laura is about to become a mom for the sixth time at age 42. More power to you, girl! (We're friends again; I can't stay away from someone who says about their impending baby, "I'll just throw it on the pile with the other ones." Hee!)
I should probably thank Britney Spears for providing so much material. Seriously, every time she opens her mouth, pearls of stupidity fall from it, and I cannot help but catch them and holler for everyone to come look at them. This time, the glistening stupid didn't come directly from Britney -- although she did usher it into the world.
How apt that she seems to be bearing down, as if producing a mammoth turd, in that picture. In fact, she brought forth a 6-foot stinker: K-Fed.
Continue reading "Even people with learner's permits think you're lame" »
I'm not sure if this episode was uniquely offensive on its own, or if we're finally seeing the results of Flav getting a producer's credit and, presumably, more input into the show's content. Either way, Flav is edging close to "Dead To Me" territory.
But at least he'll have company.
Continue reading "2-3: I'd Like To Knock Bootz ... Senseless" »
Haa-aaay! HoleCity has posted my review of Snakes on a Plane (fun, but could've been funner; you've gotta commit to the stupid to sell it, folks).
"What do you mean, 'What does it look like?' It's longer than it is wide, and it's got scales and fangs and shit. It's a motherfuckin' snake!"
This will be a busy week here. Tomorrow, I'll post my recap of the Flavor of Love episode that pretty much turned me against Flav. Wednesday, I'll post a recap of Kevin Federline's performance at the Teen Choice Wards. Thursday will be the usual Project Runway recap. And Friday, if I can swing it, I'm gonna post a review of The Decline of Western Civilization Part II: The Metal Years, a documentary that provokes so much laughter, you can't help but start to pity its subjects.
... and I thank God I'm alive. I've anticipated the premiere of Snakes on a Plane for more than seven months now -- ever since I heard that a movie would be released with the exquisitely artless title of Snakes on a Plane.
Of course, between January and now, the Interweb has embraced SoaP to the extent that I'm almost worried the film itself will be a letdown. But then, as long as it has moments like this one, where orange-shirt dude looks like he's about to pet the snake that has landed on his arm while another snake dangles near him like an accidentally-deployed oxygen mask, I'll be okay. My review should be up on HoleCity by Monday or Tuesday.
In the meantime, please enjoy this tribute to the film:
