Sometimes a news nugget captures my imagination like a terrier snapping a rat to and fro in its mouth. This little gem appeared yesterday on MSNBC:
Anna Nicole Smith is reaching out to Britney Spears. “If you wanted to be friends, I would so much love to hang out with you,” the six-months-pregnant former Playboy pinup says in a video on her Web site — even though she spells Spears' first name “Brittany.” She goes on to say “I think you’re totally cool and I think we’re going to have our babies about the same time.” On another video, Smith treats viewers to the sight of her frying up a peanut butter, cheese and mayonnaise sandwich.
I am practically paralyzed with horror and delight by the image of the two of them together. It would be like a black hole from which no coherent thought could escape. Imagine what could happen to the nation's cumulative IQ if this:
were to meet this:
The Britney clip was shot during the "Chaotic" era in 2004. What makes it utterly horrifying is the moment you realize that the camera operator, who sounds so mature, intelligent and reasonable (by comparison, anyway) is ... K-Fed. (Here's his yearbook picture. I can't not post it.)
[Note: At first, I thought she was talking about "Spawn." But when I corrected for her accent, I came to the conclusion that she was actually talking about "Spun," which is about a bunch of teenagers addicted to speed. That, plus the "my jaw hurts" comment, plus Britney's erratic, cranky behavior equals meth use, as far as I'm concerned. The good news? Based on Anna Nicole's rapid weight loss and diet-pill-shill status, that's yet another thing they'd have in common!]
Plus, the ladies both seem to love their artery-cloggin' vittles. While Anna Nicole's fryin' up a PB-n-cheese Monte Cristo, Britney can make a run to Mickey D's!
To review:
OMG. Had never seen either of those video clips.
Total IQ between the two definitely below room temperature.
Toolio (K-Fed) actually sounded... smart (?) on that video. Compared to her of course. On his own, moron. Next to her? Splitting atoms.
Posted by: Susanna | August 04, 2006 at 06:18 PM