Quien es esa nina -- who's that girl?

'Cause I don't believe she's the legitimate, biological, produced-in-the-traditional-way offspring of Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. I just don't.

I also think she might be wearing a wig.

I know. I know. It makes me sound mentally ill. But the eyebrows don't match the head-hair, and besides, that's a shitload of hair for a baby (especially one with such sparse eyebrows).

(Pic cribbed from MovieNewz.com, obviously.) According to Vanity Fair, this picture was taken July 27 of this year. Which would make lil' Suri 3 months old at the time of the photo. Now, I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' nor babies (seriously -- ask anyone who's seen me around a baby; they kinda freak me out). But does that look like a 3-month-old to you?

No, I'm asking, here. Does she look 3 months old? Don't their faces still look all squished and confused at that age? I look at that face and I think "6 months or so, maybe more." (I also think "wig.")

This has been a dodgy enterprise from the word go, though. Remember the weird pregnancy? The sudden seclusion? The total lack of an actual baby for months now? I just can't escape the feeling that they finally found and purchased a passable infant. That's an awful thing to say, I know, but it's all so strange and kinda creepy.

In other news, I've been in a bit of a funk the past couple days, and I've decided that it might be caused or exacerbated by the sudden decline in the cumulative amount of joy, delight, wonder and fun in the world due to the death of Steve Irwin. He could be a nut, no doubt, but he loved all critters great and small. RIP, Croc Hunter.

Look at him. There was a guy who loved what he did. Even the croc seems happy.

Comments

[Lorraine]

I suppose this absolutely qualifies me as a conspiracy theorist but the first thing I thought when I saw that baby was that it wasn't theirs. Purchased makes more sense. And while a 3 month old doesn't necessarily have a squidgy face anymore, the only time I've ever seen that much hair on an infant was when one or both of the parents were Asian. I'm just saying.

[cheesemeister]

My son was born by c-section and had a perfectly formed head but nonetheless had a squinty old man face till he was about four months old. Cute as can be, but it was a squinty old man face.
I think this baby was produced by advanced alien technology. I wonder if Tom can provide us with an explanation. I'm going to http://www.tomcruiseisnuts.com to find out!
I too will miss the Crazy Crocodile Hunter. He sure lived life to the fullest!

[Susanna]

I am pretty sure that baby is part Katie Holmes. She's a pretty baby. Even if she's wearing a wig.

But, yeah, I don't know jack about babies. And that doesn't look like any three month old baby I've ever seen. That one is very placid and wide-eyed. Usually they're all red and squishy, or at least kind of look like they're getting ready to pass something, you know? Puke, something in the diaper... something.

I call Photoshop on that baby, though.

[SueBee]

Hey Girl! I never thought of this before, but it seems the Croc Hunter belonged heart and mind to our shared belief in "creatures' need to be snuggled". Even seemingly unsnuggly creatures (including our mutual friend Bradford) are simply in need of intensive snuggle training and/or hug therapy. Look at that pic again. That is one happily snuggled croc.

[zambonigirl]

Am I the only one looking at the photo and thinking, "Stop ripping off Paul McCartney, you idiot!"

Poor Steve-O. I'll miss him.

[connie]

some babies are born with unusually lots of hair. I am female, born 9 pounds with a head full of hair! My three sisters were born lighter and bald. maybe weight has something to do with it...