Stupid baby shenanigans, part 2

Don't worry; it's not another faked baby or anything like that. In keeping with the celebrity in question, this is just kinda lame and silly. You know how you've been hearing that Britney Spears named her second son Sutton Pierce? Not true, as it turns out. According to a birth certificate posted by TMZ.com, the critter's name is Jayden James Federline.

Now, I do have to applaud Britney for at least having the good sense not to name her kids such similar names (with identical initials). However, she did reproduce with Kevin Federline twice, on purpose, despite his apparent two-baby limit for relationships. Hmmm. Perhaps she's got one more brain cell than I'm giving her credit for and has figured out that the only way to get rid of him is to have another kid.

But that's not really fair to the kid in question. I mean, would you want to get half your DNA from this man? I wouldn't even want the burden of his surname. "Jayden James Spears" sounds like a soap opera actor; "Jayden James Federline" sounds like an inmate. Neither are great futures, but I know which one I'd pick in a heartbeat. And you know K-Fed is already alternating between calling the baby "J-Dawg" and yelling "Dy-No-Miiiiite!" then getting cranky that Britney doesn't recognize the "Good Times" reference.

So Britney, on behalf of, well, everyone, I implore you to stop before you breed again with this man. Besides, there's a limit to how many kids a man can not pay child support on once he's bled their moms dry.

Comments

[ToasterPastries]

Ah, Britney and Kevin. Makes you wonder why so many radical Muslims want a Jihad against America; we're already doomed! Federline belongs to that exhaulted group of people who are famous for no good reason:
Anna Nicole Smith
Anna Nicole Smith's son (I don't even remember his name!)
Kevin Federline
Paris Hilton
Jessica Simpson
Whoever Jessica Simpson is currently dating
Nick (what was his last name again?)
That guy from that show, you know, the one with the funny hat!

There are dozens more but I can't think of them right now. Is that goood or bad?
America is not morally corrupt! We're just major media hounds! Will we ever be able to forget Bennifer or TomKat? And we wonder why most American kids don't even know where China is (that's the country, folks, not the local take-out restaurant!)They're too busy reading about Anna Nicole Smith's residency address problems in the Bahamas (or was it Bermuda?)Want a good reality show? Watch "Thirty Days", not "Survivor!"
Anyway, I'm done ranting. Back to reading Beckett.