Whoa. Black is white. Gravity lifts you up. Paperwork is fun. I felt like I was watching an episode of Project Runway filmed in an alternate universe, where Michael stumbles, Laura gets on my nerves and Neck-Boy comes across as thoughtful and vaguely sympathetic. I feel like there's nothing I can count on in this crazy world anymore.
Well, at least I can count on Uli to make that same dress every week. Whew!
Seriously, though, did anybody else notice a sudden shift in the portrayal of Jeffrey? Suddenly, he's given the Mary Tyler Moore edit or something. He's Neck-Boy in the big city!
Will he make it after all? (Or merely bitch about it in the most petulant way imaginable?)
I was rather tickled to see Laura walking home with just two suitcases (and I would love to get her packing tips). That was almost as cute a moment as Heidi and Tim walking off the runway arm-in-arm: "We've got two months off. What are we going to do?" "We could go on holiday!" Adorable.
According to Tim's podcast, he visited Laura first, but we're shown his visit to Michael in Atlanta first. Eh, whatevs. Michael's house is just the sort of perfect space you'd expect for him, and his family supports their little superstar all the way. Unfortunately, the clothes... aren't great. (The Bravo site doesn't have any photos of Michael's pieces, and I kinda don't blame them.) His theme is "street safari" and I'm more than a little bit nervous after seeing a body-conscious white evening gown with (I'm clutching my pearls here) a lace-up neckline. Ew.
J and I were talking about this: Michael has done some great stuff under the constraints of the various challenges, but when given free reign, it pains me to say it, he tends to go hoochie. This is why I think he and Laura would make a great team; she'd rein in his hoochie tendencies and he'd rein in her staid tendencies. They'd meet in the middle and make some lovely stuff.
Laura's staid tendencies are, of course, mentioned when Tim visits her incredible Manhattan loft. Just looking at the pieces, I see tons of lace, tons of black, deep v-necks everywhere. In the name of surprising the judges, Laura made a chartreuse three-piece floor-length number, but it's a total misstep. Tim tells her this, and with any luck, she'll ditch it and work in some other palette.
Tim meets her crew of sons, one of whom offers him turtle poop (the scientific name for which is, of course, a "turdle"), provoking a delightfully schoolgirlish squeak of "Ew!" This is, in fact, the most exciting part of the episode.
In Miami, Tim visits Uli at her apartment with its exquisite view. Look at that. Damn. We find that Uli grew up in East Germany, where she learned to make clothes out of necessity. Color was in scarce supply, so she craves it now. Perhaps the secret police used to beat citizens with bras, which is why she so hates the garments and refuses to accomodate them with her designs. Uli's collection looks exactly how you imagine it would.
Just like Neck-Boy's girlfriend, who has a mohawk. She seems like a lovely woman, and I hope she isn't too damaged or disturbed by her boyfriend's scorn for her entire gender. Little Harrison, the toddler whose name is forever tattooed on Jeffrey's neck, seems like a charmer as well. At Neck-Boy's suprisingly large design space in downtown LA, we see his collection.
Neck-Boy has based his collection on old Japanese demon art. Mind you, I don't really get how that translates into a halter dress made from an awning cover, but at least I have to hand it to him for picking an original inspiration. It's better than freaking "street safari." Tim is, in his words, awed by the workmanship on the dress, which is trimmed with zipper halves (I hope that makes sense). It is pretty cool, although that fabric is killing me. But then, I wouldn't wear any of Neck-Boy's stuff; it's not my aesthetic and I don't think he puts any degree of care into how his clothes make their wearer look (which is the primary consideration for most, if not all, wearers).
Once they arrive in New York, the designers start putting their collections together for the show, meeting with models, putting the finishing touches on -- well, Neck-Boy doesn't do that last part. He seems to have put together an incredibly well-finished collection that requires few, if any, touch-ups. This makes Laura's Spidey sense tingle, and she points it out to Michael and Uli. Michael notes Neck-Boy's impeccably finished leather jeans, and even I know that must have been a shitload of work. Something smells fishy to Laura and Michael, and Laura tells Tim about her concerns.
Now, I'm on the fence about this. Neck-Boy did mention that he had his work cut out for him; in addition to preparing his PR collection and helping to raise a toddler, he was also working on a spring line for his company. That's a lot to do in two months, and I'm not sure Neck-Boy has the world's best time management skills.
On the other hand, maybe the finishing techniques for deconstructed clothing aren't as time-consuming for other styles. (Or maybe they're more time-intensive; I don't know.) Plus, the time constraints for the final collection are different than those for the individual challenges. And in his podcast, Tim says that he strongly cautioned Neck-Boy not to arrive with any work left to do. There's a plausible explanation for both sides.
And Neck-Boy's response didn't shed much light on it. His calm refuting of Laura's claim could either be the confidence of someone who knows he's in the right or the weariness of someone who is utterly busted and maybe a little relieved. He didn't start squawking that she was a deranged bitch who's jealous of his mad skillz (he does that next week, apparently). He acted like a grown-ass man for perhaps the first time all season. So... I don't know.
I do know this, though: if Michael doesn't get rid of the blingy faux-pocket accents he added to the dress with the lace-up neckline (no, really, he did), I'm going over to Team Laura.
Your friend Neck Boy looks like an alcoholic stumbling out of the cab after a hard night of partying. Just goes to show that you really don't have to be handsome or have anything else to offer to find some sucker with a self esteem low enough to be interested.
Posted by: Cheesemeister | October 16, 2006 at 01:14 AM