How else can 2 months' salary and a severed hand last forever?

Of all the irritations of the holiday season, the one that picks my nit the most (besides traffic, of course) is the prevalence of diamond ads and all the ickiness they either imply or proclaim outright. "You can buy love!" the ads all but state, with a nasty undercurrent of "Women can be bought... and you know what that makes them!"

"Mildred! I finally saved up the five large for some bling! Now can I hit it?"

Family Guy captured the essence of the average diamond ad:

One ad this season shows dudes carrying little black Zales shopping bags and high-fiving each other as if to say, "Oh, yeah! You're gonna get some tonight!" And then there's the cringe-inducing Jared ads, in which suburban harpies and their relatives remind some poor sap of his inadequacy by comparing him to another dude (who, interestingly, is never shown). "He went to Jared," they sneer. It's a spectacularly crass attempt to merge love and commerce, so even the sweetest impulse to buy a loved one something pretty that she'll enjoy could get twisted into a monetary -- and very public -- proving ground for your feelings.

So I was doubly glad to see Blood Diamond this weekend. Not only because I thought it was incredibly well-made and brought to light a region and an issue that movie audiences might not think about too often, but because it provides a horrifying counterpoint to the holiday diamond ads. Suffice to say that the market for diamonds not only inspires violence but makes further violence possible, as diamond sales from conflict regions are often used to purchase weapons and supply armies.

Blood Diamond isn't a perfect film; it feels a little long in some parts and could stand a little more paring down. Plus, although Jennifer Connelly does a great job, I would've been very interested to see her character played by an African-American actress. I think it would've added a whole new dimension to the racial politics of the film, plus we could've avoided the somewhat uncomfortable sight of two white folks trying to save an African family. Still, she's great, Djimon Hounsou is great and between this film and The Departed, I think this could actually be the year that Leonardo DiCaprio gets an Oscar.

Although there were many moments of horror in the film, it ends on a hopeful note, for both the family and the world at large. And it warms my awful little heart to imagine someone saying proudly, "Oh, he went to the jeweler's... but he left empty-handed when they couldn't prove their diamonds were Kimberley-Process certified."

Oh, hush. It's the holidays; I can be idealistic. Tell you what: I'll post some pictures of tacky-ass Christmas ornaments this week.

Comments

[Susanna]

Oh, but the Kimberley process isn't perfect either.

And now the DIC (the PR arm of deBeers) has Russell Simmons pimping for them. He doesn't even know he's their bitch. Yet. That guy, though? Pretty used to being someone's bitch, no?

I think Ron White said it best, "Diamonds... that'll shut her up."

[Cath]

Ah, man, you're harshing my feel-good-ish buzz! ;-) Hey, Susanna, you're the queen of bling: is there any best way to shop for ice with a clear conscience?

Also: anyone who's never seen Russell and Kimora Lee Simmons' episode of Cribs is missing out! Three words: Solid. Gold. Commode.

[Susanna]

Sadly, not really. People are in the jewelry business to MAKE MONEY. It is a very, very rare jeweler (I dare you to find me one) knows the precise, exact provenance of their raw goods. If their stones came from Canada, okay, there's a damn good chance they're conflict-free. Otherwise, there's going to be a small chance. But it's a very, very small chance. But a chance regardless.

The movies, the campaigns, etc? It is an attempt on the part of (basically) socialists with an agenda to take weak-willed Americans hostage. Did you see Happy Feet? Christ, there's a "message" in that one, too.

But take heart and read this, perhaps it will edify you:

http://theblingblog.typepad.com/the_bling_blog/2006/07/conflict_diamon.html

As well, take heart with the knowledge that the jewelry industry is probably among the very best of all industries in its implementation and execution of the 3 Rs: reduce, reuse, and recycle. After, who in their right mind is going to throw away a perfectly good diamond? Some good scrap platinum? Reuse, recycle.

And don't think you're doing a good thing by buying a colored stone, either. The mining conditions aren't exactly ideal in South America either.

Conditions in S. Africa and Botswana are far better than those in, say, Sierra Leone.

[Susanna]

P.S. Diamond ads are sickening, in particular the ones you mentioned from Jared and Zales. Gag-inducing. They get the peristaltic waves going.

Like, wouldn't these guys like to know that they could've saved about 78% of their purchase price by buying outside of the mall?

Could've spent that cabbage on some extra table dances. And the buffet.

I do, however, like some of the deBeers adverts. They pitch some high-end sentimentality.

And boys, it's 3-6 months' salary, m'kay?

[Mags]

I have no clever comments, I just REALLY enjoyed this entry.

[huntergrayson]

Oh, man, I now have to add Blood Diamond to my end of year film frenzy as well? I mean, I wanted to already, but you got me convinced, darn you!

I haven't seen the Jared ads but the Zales plays all the time (as in, I have tivo and still see it nonstop!). The only way I can deal is by imagining some weird sublimated homoeroticism and a very crazy offscreen backstory.

Come on, would two total strangers *really* have five each other at the mall unless it was code for "Hey, after I placate my wife with this diamond, wanna go hookup in the men's room?"

:weg:

I'm totally referring my mom to this entry if she gets any bling for Krimma.