It's happened. We've become That Couple. The couple who gleefully purchases costumes for their pets, gets the pets into the clothing through a complicated system of treats and half-nelsons, and documents the pets' systematic humiliation with photos.
No, we don't have kids. Why do you ask?
We'd noticed the cats getting a little chilly in their brief outdoor forays, so we jokingly said we should get them little jackets. Well, at first we were joking, but then one of us -- I don't remember who, although I suspect it was me -- offered to see what kind of options for cat outerwear might be available. So the preposterous concept became first a reality, then an inevitability. I imagine a great many sexual missteps and murders are set in motion the same way.
Jason suggested a letter jacket for Mojo, and I thought that would be awesome. As usual, he was absolutely right.
If you think the jacket fits him a little funny, especially in the shoulder region, you're right. That's because it isn't made for cats; it's made for dogs. I measured the cats to see what size the torture implements should be, and made the unnerving discovery that Emily, our squishy little girl, is 17 inches from neck to tail, with a 19-inch circumference. This puts her outside the realm of "cat" in terms of sizing.
Mojo, however, is 19 inches long and 22 inches around! (For comparison, my best friend's 16-year-old daughter is also 22 inches around.) We weren't trying to win a Biggest Damn Cat In The Universe contest, but I think we've got a shot. So we ordered the fleece jacket in "Dog - Medium." (I've taken to calling the Moj "Medium Dog" since then.)
But it seems that circumference isn't the only dimension that matters in terms of pet clothing. The jacket is too roomy in the shoulders, so it bunches up around his little kitty elbows. (Sad but true: I have a Master's degree from an Ivy League university, and "dogs are built differently than cats" was news to me. I can't get right.) Mojo took a few hunkering steps in his jacket, made a rather piteous meow, then tumped over onto his side and looked at us with confusion and resentment. We're used to that.
For Emily, we decided to go with a fringed poncho. From the moment the image entered our minds, we were enchanted by it. It's the ultimate fussy-cold-little-lady garment, and we figured it would make her look like a feline tea cozy. We awaited its arrival with Christmas-morning-like anticipation, and we weren't completely disappointed.
Unfortunately, this enchanting number was only available in two dog sizes: Extra Small/Small and Medium/Large. So I wound up ordering Emily a poncho that could, conceivably, fit a largish spaniel. There's a fair amount of excess fabric on this one, and even more play in the velcro strap that goes around her tummy. When I first put it on her, Emily just sat there immobilized, a pitiful "Why are you doing this to me?" look on her face. I went upstairs to get the camera, but by the time I was downstairs, she was running around un-em-poncho-ed. The smaller size has already been ordered; this sight is too cute to let her wriggle out of so easily.
For some reason, the phrase "Breck girl" comes to mind when I see this shot. I think it's the roll-neck that does it.
After I'd taken these pictures and gotten the poncho off of Emily, Mojo jumped up onto the desk to see what was going on. Emily reached over and swatted him on the top of his head. I know she'll make me pay for this sooner or later, but in the meantime, I've got these lovely pictures to make it all worthwhile.
You are a mean (yet inspired) cat mommy.
I can't choose which ensemble is my favorite, but the poncho thingie makes me giggle more.
That's it...you have to bring your kitties to visit me, and then we can have a dress up the kitties party!
Woo-Hoo!
Posted by: sudiegirl | January 31, 2007 at 02:31 PM
It's a kitty play date! Only I think they'd hate-hate-hate it. Which makes it so much better... :-)
Posted by: Catherine Cantieri | February 02, 2007 at 08:43 AM
You could mop the kitchen floor with that red turtleneck. Slap it on your kitteh and you've got an instant, low-tech Rumba.
Posted by: Laz | February 02, 2007 at 05:01 PM
I'm shocked and fascinated.
Posted by: Laurence Simon | February 04, 2007 at 12:16 PM
I bought my Sylvester (female in spite of the name) a Mets cap last summer-- dog size small. (Friend downstairs is a ferocious Mets fan and Sylvester goes down to watch baseball games with her about three nights a week during the season). This year, the Phillies cap (my team). It may be that the velcro straps on the cap allow it to be adjusted for a cat's head size and ear location-- the fit is actually pretty good, the challenge is getting Sylvester to keep it on.
I have a doctorate from an Ivy school and it never surprised me that cats are built differently from dogs-- but it may be I was enlightened early by growing up as a cat person in an extended family full of dog lovers.
Posted by: Connecticut Yankee | February 04, 2007 at 11:50 PM
Update! We put their outerwear on them on Saturday and let them outside for a little while. Before long, Emily had worked her poncho into a kind of ill-fitting hula skirt. She seemed to like it that way, but it only impressed upon us that ordering the smaller size was a good idea.
Mojo bumbled along gamely for a bit, still close to the ground, but starting to get a feel for moving around in his jacket. To our unease, when we took the jacket off of him, we saw that it had indented the fur around his back half, meaning it was *snug* around him. A "Dog-Medium" is snug on our boy cat. SNUG! Eep!!
Posted by: Catherine Cantieri | February 05, 2007 at 08:25 AM
Mojo and Emily must be really embarrassed by those photos. You'd never catch me wearing anything but my own fur.
Posted by: Aloysius | February 05, 2007 at 12:42 PM
Oh those poor feline friends !! To have to meekly submit to dress-ups... the shame... the horror... the utter humiliation... the fun it generates with the simians (and we all know how apes love to make fun of decent people !)...
I guess our Zorro has the world record for removal-of-offensive-bedeckings: it took him 0.5 seconds to get rid of a collar. I doubt I would be able to come in his vicinity with any kind of kitty-garment (or otherwise) and live to tell...
Critter, our late woofie, loved dress-ups. Many was the ribbon she would gaily wear and she had this cute little cap too. But the felines have entirely too much dignity for that.
Although truth to tell, personally I do like the poncho. Those colours are so fetching on her !
Posted by: Babeth | February 18, 2007 at 08:44 AM