I am screaming and punching myself: ...in ALL the wrong places

Oh, good Lord. I was going to write a quick update saying that not much has been heard from Britney lately, and that surely that's all for the best. But then she has to do something stupid.

Like hook up in rehab.

Now, I know this sort of thing is fairly common; hell, it's why most rehab places have rules against it. You're having to deal with stuff you've put off dealing with for years; your coping mechanisms have been taken away; you're feeling incredibly vulnerable and unloveable. All the ingredients for the worst possible relationship choices are right there. And, as always, Britney doesn't disappoint. She manages, once again, to make the worst possible relationship choice.

What would that be? Think K-Fed, only older, balder and arguably less coherent. His name is Jason Filyaw and he's the lead singer of not one but two New Jersey bands (sadly, he appears to be the best-looking member of both).

What do we know about him based on his MySpace page?

He doesn't want kids (ruh roh!)
His interests include: "The soul, Life, Death, Tibet, Brazillian [sic] street fighting, Music, all style of instruments, funky stuff, midevil [sic] stuff, horror, toys, old coins and newspapers, Music [so nice, he had to say it twice], Sex, Travel, writing porn music, the woods, Animals." I'm going to go out on a limb here and say he also has more than a passing interest in weed. And, based on the pictures, in skank.
"hangin with other bands &, meeting fans keeps me well oiled !!"
To his credit, he also promotes the Red Cross and the One Campaign, so at least he seems to be a well-meaning cheeseball.

What do we know about his bands?

Only one of them has a functioning non-MySpace Web site.
Neither of them include a competent copy writer:
- "We are Riva. We fucking rock. I suppose we could write a bunch of nonsense to sell you but it probbaly best to let the music speak for itself. Everything on our records was played by humans, there is NO editing, there is NO pitch manipulation, punch ins were done on a tape deck with a large head gap. Yeah, we are hardcore enough to punch the large head gap..." I have got to find a way to work "punch the large head gap" into my daily vocabulary.
- "Dennis writes most of the signature riffs that make Q.K.F.’s songs so memorable. Vocalist Jason Filyaw connects with the fans with his emotional screams and melodic hooks. His lyrics are intensely personal, yet easily accessible, speaking to the universal truths inside us all." Do they? Do they really?

What do we know about him based on his brief TMZ interview?

He's willing to go on the record with a gossip site about Britney, so protecting privacy isn't too much of a concern for him. If anything, he seems desperate to cast off his privacy. And in his case, by "privacy," I mean "obscurity."
"Filyaw, self-described as 'very spiritual,' ... revealed that he is helping Britney with the spiritually 'deep' part of her recovery." I'm going to add "spiritual" to "classy" and "sensitive" on the list of terms that are rendered false when you publicly apply them to yourself.
"[Filyaw] would neither confirm nor deny that he is dating Spears, but admitted, 'I love her, I support her 100% and we are close.' " There's nothing less attractive than a balding rocker dude in his mid-30s being coy.

So, let's see... loose lips to the tabloids, questionable physical appeal, chemical dependency issues, an inability to spell. Good choice, there, Britney! Way to punch the large head gap!