8-9: Natasha glows and Jael blunders

Damn. Once again, I must lead with an apology. Not only am I pressed for time, the CW web site has no portfolio pictures from this week, and most of the candid shots are underwhelming, too. So in keeping with the theme of learning something new from travel, I'm going to simply list a few things we now know that we didn't know before this episode.

I swear, ANTM, sometimes I don't know if I love or hate you, or some twisted combination of the two.

Things we have learned in our trip to Australia:

We know that the Tyra show has a new correspondent: my girl Natasha! Yeah... I know. Her English could use a little lot of work, but her exuberance and goofy affability should take her pretty far. Natasha also doesn't mangle an Australian accent anywhere near as badly as you might think. Yippee?

We know that Brittany has mild brain damage after getting staples in her skull after a car ran her over in high school. That wasn't the reason I thought she was going to give for her total lack of short-term memory. (The brain damage might also explain her emotional instability. Or she could just be a crybaby; we haven't learned which yet.)

We now know what Madonna would look like in a remake of Out of Africa. And I mean Madonna at her current age. We also know that Renee can imitate an Australian man just fine, but not an Australian woman (I learned that I have the same problem, and that I can do an unnervingly good Paul Hogan impression). So if the Outback needs some new voiceover talent, they know who to call.

I can personally tell you that the "Australian accent" commercial shoot is the dumbest thing I've seen in weeks. (And I blogged I Love New York, ferchrissakes.)

We've learned that although Jaslene still takes a good picture, language is not her friend; when she was trying to comprehend the Australian host, she frowned so hard she resembled a Japanese demon.

We know that when Dionne tries to do an Australian accent, the result is a magnificent trip down memory lane, to a time when Miss Cleo dominated the late-night commercials. And we learn that she tends to say "that's cool" twice in a row when she's nervous, like a polite kind of Tourette's tic.

We know that Jael feels most comfortable when she's communing with nature, even when nature takes the form of a chicken. She also describes herself as a "bringer of light." I honestly cannot tell if she's being sarcastic or not. The panel seems to share my confusion over her motives, and agree that she might not be the best spokesmodel for Cover Girl after all. So she can bring her light elsewhere, as she gets eliminated.

And we know that Jael has, for some reason, brought a blue party wig with her to Australia. I'm kind of fascinated by the thought process that led her to pack that.

What we don't know is what's supposed to happen next week, since there are no previews. Man, I hope that doesn't mean it's a clip show...

Comments

[Blockade Boy]

Love your blog!

Speaking of Dionne/Wholahay/Brown, her Jamaicaustralian accent reminded me of the glorious moment way back in season 2 when Camille, unasked, busted out a Jamaican accent for her Matrix-y chips ad. What a kook!

[Mindi]

Awww... was sad to see Jael go, she seemed very sweet (albeit a bit dim). I think it was the right decision, however. I'm so loving Natasha... she totally rocks!

[Omela]

Natasha is the best!!!!