Well, actually, it's much closer to a month. For the past few weeks, I've come across pictures of Britney looking absolutely awful every few days, and I'd save them to my hard drive, thinking, "Oh, I've got to blog about this!" But then I'd get so wrapped up in TV blogging that it seemed I'd never catch up. However, we've now reached critical mass in terms of mortifying shots of Britney. I can no longer procrastinate bringing you these sights, although you might wish I had once you've seen them. (Actually, that's not completely fair. She looks okay in a couple of the -- well, in one of them, when it's cropped in close.)
I'm not even going to get into the insanity of what all Britney has said lately. I'm just going to stay here in the shallow end.
I'm going to attempt to get these in semi-chronological order, but I can't make any promises. Let's lead off with what I like to call "Color Gone Wrong," in which our heroine sports a fluorescent pink dress and blue contact lenses.
(I would like to note that underwear was apparently worn. That's gotta count for something, right?)
So, top to bottom, let's review the outfit: wig-hat, blue contacts, brownish-red lipstick, Pantone 806 dress, black boots, brown bag. Could she possibly be colorblind, maybe?
Those wig-hats are really bothering me. If you'll notice, you never see her without a wig and a hat on, which makes me think that they're attached, like those cheesy shirt-and-sweater tops you see for $7.99. Now, for chemo patients, they make perfect sense, but ... Britney isn't a chemo patient. There's nothing wrong with her scalp at all -- except that it hasn't gotten any fresh air in months now. Cast off your wig-hat, Britney! I promise you, you won't look much worse!
Is she wearing the Grandpa Special wig-hat? What the -- who deliberately chooses this look for themselves??
She wore a different wig-hat shopping with her cousin one day, and it topped off a typical Britney outfit: something almost right, accompanied by everything wrong.
Those shoes are killing me. The dress isn't bad, but it isn't doing her body any favors, and it just looks old and ill-used. The lipstick is totally wrong, the bag is okay but has no relation to the rest of the outfit, and ... wig-hat.
While shopping (for, one presumes, more ugly clothing and accessories) with the cuz, Britney took time out to create a whole new batch of nightmare fodder for me.
That's like Dr. Giggles-level shit, there.
She laid low for a few days, then resurfaced late last week -- looking really quite nice!
I mean, yeah, it's a wig-hat, but the wig color is good on her and the hat doesn't have a damn bird on it. You know, maybe I've been too --
What is her right foot doing? Did her boot come un...fastened? And are those shoulder pads under that shirt? Never mind. We're back in business here.
There's something almost Sally-Kirklandish about this outfit. The hat, the fur, the sad little skirt, the awful footwear, the crafts-camp bracelet. It comes close to being performance art, but, like all Britney's attempts at art, it falls far short.
Man, there is just nobody home in there, is there. Wait a minute, though! The hair is the same but the hat has changed. So maybe those aren't all wig-hats! Still... why a wig and a hat all the damn time? The mystery remains.
Which brings us up to yesterday. Okay, Britney's been rehearsing (for what? we don't know!) at a dance studio, so she leaves in unflattering dancer gear. But by the time she hits the clubs that night, you'd think she'd shower and change, right?
Nope! Also: way to go right back to partying, Brit! Don't let that rehab slow you down!
I would feel relieved that K-Fed got primary custody of the kids (4 days a week to Britney's 3), but then I saw this...
I could swear I smell meth cooking -- and feel my skin covered in a thin film of skank -- just from looking at that photo. Those poor kids.
The crisis continues. Stay tuned.
I totally agree with you. Britneys eyes really look weird in those pics.
Posted by: Color Contact Lenses | September 07, 2009 at 04:28 AM