I can't stop with the bad puns. I'm sorry. (Not enough to think up something genuinely clever, mind you, but somewhat sorry.) Once again, Shear Genius provides interesting challenges, intriguing personalities and just plain fun -- even if I think the judges were off-base this time around. My love for this show just keeps growing like a backcombed head of hair.
Yeah. Like that.
The episode opens with a cryptic note next to a set of clippers. The phrase "time for a trim" is used, and this prompts the stylists to wonder if it means someone is getting eliminated in the ShortCut challenge (as Dr. Boogie believes), or if they'll have to do men's hair, or if they'll have to trim dogs. Tabatha is terrified that they'll have to become canine stylists -- not all that unreasonable, considering the hedge trimmers, I guess -- and fixates on that idea with the certainty of a kid pondering the thing under the bed.
When she greets them, Jaclyn Smith asks them if they think someone is going home. Boogie says yes, and when asked who he'd like to see go, volunteers Ben and Tyson. Ben mocks being stung, but doesn't seem bothered by it. Hilariously, he tells the camera, "Boogie, you don't show me no love, man? I think people like Boogie are threatened by people... I have no idea; I don't care." I like that Ben can recognize when he's talking out his ass and knock it off.
Smith introduces their guest judge, the legendary stylist Christophe. Damn! Even I know who this guy is. The stylists are all overwhelmed to be in his presence, but are soon reminded of their earlier concerns when Smith mentions meeting their clients.
"They're dogs. They're dogs. They're dogs," Tabatha frets. "Oh! They're boys. Thank God." Yes, it's time to see who can cut men's hair the best. The stylists presume that Dr. Boogie will win this challenge, given that clippers are both his weapon of choice and the standard implement for cutting men's hair.
Models are chosen, with Tyson getting last pick. His model has some tricky curly-wiry texture to his hair, and isn't terribly reassured by Tyson's rock-star attitude. Nobody, save Tyson of course, is reassured by Tyson's decision to flat-iron his client's hair. (The look on the guy's face is priceless.) Tyson tells his client how he has the competition in the bag, while Tabatha tells the camera that Tyson is "FIG JAM: Fuck, I'm good, just ask me." Ha!
Elsewhere, Tabatha is cutting some major shape into her client's hair, Danna is trying to keep as much hair as possible for her client, Ben is trying to give his client a "no-haircut" haircut, Anthony is giving his guy the requested corporate cut and Boogie is rocking the damn house giving his client a twist on the Caesar cut that totally brings out the dude's bone structure.
Tyson, upon finishing the cut: "Okay, that was hot, what's up?" (High five.)
Tyson's client, shellshocked: "Wow."
Tabatha, to the camera: "He's like an evil leprechaun."
I have to say, my first impression of Christophe was: George Hamilton as Eurotrash. But he proves to be knowledgeable, perceptive, personable and really very nice. He and Catherine Deneuve should become the cultural ambassadors of France. Tabatha and Dr. Boogie are chosen as the top 2, with Tabatha winning the ShortCut challenge. She says she was surprised that Dr. Boogie didn't win, impressing me with graciousness and an ability to recognize excellent work when she sees it.
Smith tells the stylists that there's a surprise waiting for them at the house. No, it's not dogs, Tabatha. It's a series of boxes, each bearing the label of an era and containing accessories for that era. As the ShortCut winner, Tabatha not only gets to pick first, she gets to assign the eras to the other stylists. After some soul-searching, she selects 80s Punk. She gives Anthony 60s, Danna 40s, Ben 20s, Daisy Victorian, Tyson Elizabethan and Dr. Boogie Medieval.
In a development that astonishes me, several of the stylists are clueless about the eras they've been assigned. "What is Victorian?" asks Daisy. Ben draws a blank over what the 20s looked like. And Boogie, God love him, doesn't seem to understand what the word "Medieval" means. He seems to think it means mid-evil, and the computer research they're allowed to do (1 hour total) only shows him one picture.
Tabatha rocks my world, not just for putting up with Boogie's harrassment (memo to Boogie and everyone else in the universe: don't touch a butt unless you're asked to. Just don't.) but for explaining the significance of the hair fashions of the 20s to Ben. Ben, by the way, is simply on fire this episode; he says his first impression of the 20s was of Michigan J. Frog -- whom he imitates -- and he instantly realized that that wasn't going to help at all.
Frankly, I'd watch a show with just Tabatha, Anthony, Ben, Rene and Jaclyn Smith interacting on a regular basis, with the occasional visit from Dr. Boogie and Christophe. Tim Gunn and Todd Oldham from the other Bravo shows could stop by sometimes, too. Tom Colicchio could not.
Of course, Tabatha deliberately gave Tyson one of the toughest ones. (I'd say medieval was trickier, myself, but still, Elizabethan doesn't exactly conjure up great hair images.) She, Anthony and Boogie dish in the kitchen about how "Weasel Boy" has been struggling with his updos, and Elizabethan hair was all updone. I get a bit of a vibe that Boogie is kissing up to Tabatha (even ignoring Anthony talking to him at one point), but I can't say as I blame him, and Tab doesn't seem to mind.
"''Ow I look?"
"Shaahp. 'Ow I look?"
"Wicked."
"Yeh?"
"Yeh."
In the background there, you can see Tyson meditating, asking the universe for guidance. (Later, Boogie will marvel, "I thought he was Amish.")
At the salon, Rene congratulates Danna on last week's win, and points to her style on the Allure Wall of Fame. "The Wall of Fame? Is the kiss of death," proclaims Boogie, adding that everyone who's won has been cut. Everyone but Anthony... oh dear.
(You know, he does look a little mid-evil here.) The models have already had their eras assigned, so model selection is short and sweet. Tyson throws a pound and a half of extensions onto his model's head; Boogie braids the crap out of his model's hair; Ben notes his lack of knowledge, but says he's a quick learner. Rene questions and unnerves them all.
Hair show? Hair show.
The guest judge is -- hey, I know him too! -- Ken Paves, the dude who's responsible for a line of wigs and extensions that look really awful on Jessica Simpson. I don't think any part of that face is original issue, but I must say I'm impressed by Paves' knowledge of hair history and technique. He overcomes the patina of dodginess that surrounds anybody associated with Simpson.
One of the things that Paves is dead-on right about is that Anthony's hair needs an additional bump at the back of the crown. This hair looks like deflated 60s hair, I'm afraid. One thing I've got to give Anthony, though: his clients' hair always looks shiny and healthy. But I think he plays it too safe on the style, and unfortunately he ends up in the bottom 2. Step it up, Anthony! I don't want you to go anytime soon!
For not knowing bupkis about the era, Ben did all right by the 20s. I'd have taken out the big feather on the side, though; there's too much accessories crowding out the look.
I'd like to take this opportunity to note that I do believe judge Michael Carl is drunk. Or exhausted. Or just giddy, or something. He keeps making these loopy pronouncements about movies, and... yeah, I'd say drunk.
Daisy does a great job with the Victorian hair. The judges are really impressed by her ability to make the client's hair look un-highlighted. That hadn't even occurred to me, but they're so right. Good on you, Daisy!
Oh, dear. Danna really dropped the ball on this one. This is just tragic, rationing-has-made-me-lose-my-will-to-look-nice hair. You know what's funny?
The hair that Danna herself is wearing is much better 40s-style hair. Damn. We all know it the moment we see that sad head of hair walk down the runway: Goodbye, Danna.
Dr. Boogie comes so close here! If only those top braids had laid closer to the head, and if only the sectioning wasn't so obvious, this would be fantastic. Michael Carl inexplicably says he'd prefer a style closer to that of Buttercup in The Princess Bride. You mean straight down, Boozebreath? Softer parts, flatter braids, keep that gorgeous back and this look could have aced the challenge! Oh, Boogie. Will you ever win?
While I'm impressed at the technique of Tabatha's two-tone mohawk, I kind of agree with Michael Carl's drunk ass: it's a little bit literal, a little cliche. Her execution was great, but I kind of wished she'd gone with whatever her second idea for 80s punk hair was.
SImilarly, Tyson's hair has some incredible techniques in it. But while Tabatha's hair was too literal, Tyson's hair is straight-up inaccurate. People weren't powdering hair in the late 1500s. Faces, yes; hair, no, not for another 150 years or so. Also: his execution is kinda lackluster. That white hair spray is covering a multitude of sins, including the rather raggedy condition of much of the hair. I'd say Tyson is still having problems with his updos.
And yet, he and his historically bullshit hair win the challenge. (Look how tiny he is compared to everyone else! And you know he wears lifts.) I would've given it to Daisy, myself, but I guess I can respect all the effort that went into those curls-upon-curls. And who knows, maybe Boogie's prediction about the Wall of Fame will come true!
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