1-6: With this shovel, I thee bury

This episode of Shear Genius was all about client relations, even though some of the stylists didn't completely realize that. Hair artistry played a part, certainly, but as this episode proved, you can't be a successful stylist without getting clients into the chair and making them want to come back.

And viewed through that lens, the elimination makes perfect sense. But when you look at it on the surface...

... it's a shocker.

The stylists see a note with a map on the inside. They're not sure where they're going, but they know to expect anything. They then see three ledgers near the note and do some quick math. Six stylists divided by 3 ledgers equals... Boogie and Daisy say "Team time!" and "Teamwork!" respectively at the very same time and in the very same intonation. It's surprisingly adorable.

The next day, the stylists pile into the show SUV, which takes them to... a mall. They've figured out that the challenge will involve money somehow, and I think once they get there, they realize what will be expected of them.

And you can positively hear Ben mentally cursing himself out for dressing in his ninja outfit. Bless his heart. In any other challenge, this would have been a cute conversation-starter. In a challenge where teams of two have to convince total strangers to pay to let them cut their hair? It's a non-starter.

As the winner of the previous challenge, Tyson gets to pick his teammate. He chooses Tabatha because of her obvious talent. Equally obvious, though, is her total disdain for Tyson, and I have to wonder why that didn't enter into his consideration. Maybe he thought he could win her over; maybe he thought he could take the lead in the team. Dream on in either case, Tyson, m'boy.

Tyson also gets to assign the other two teams, and he pairs Anthony with Daisy and Ben with Boogie. That hug isn't entirely heartfelt; Daisy is still a little hurt that Anthony has told her she talks too much. And Anthony, in fact, still thinks she talks too much. But they seem to agree to put the past behind them and approach this challenge as a team.

Ben is, I think, relieved to have Dr. Boogie as a teammate, because, as Ben puts it, "Boogie could sell snow to an Eskimo." While Ben has a fabulous personality of his own, his look is a little off-putting even on days when he isn't dressed as a stealthy master of death. (On a side note, think how lethal a ninja could make most haircutting and -styling implements. That would actually be pretty awesome.)

Jaclyn Smith introduces their guest judge, Jose Eber -- her own personal stylist. Her hair does indeed have the signature Eber look, and it's worked beautifully for her for years now. Eber himself, though, has had the same personal look for the past several decades, and it's starting to lapse into self-parody. Can't fault the man on his styling of others, though. He explains that the teams will have two hours to convince mall shoppers to get their hair cut at a price set by the team; the team with the most money will win.

And... go! The stylists immediately head out to glad-hand the public. Anthony kinda breaks my heart when he comments, "A six-foot-three black man asking them to get their hair cut -- 'Ah, God!' " He laughs it off, but I hate that he (or anybody) has to deal with that. Boogie, of course, gets people into the chair with ease, but part of how he does it is through ridiculously low prices: $10 a cut.

Tyson tells us that such a low rate is an insult to stylists, and that he'd never price himself so low. (Frankly, I wonder if he'd have that outlook if he hadn't grown up in his mom's salon, if he'd had to build his clients from the ground up, starting at Fantastic Sam's or something.) He and Tabatha charge an astonishing $50-70 for a cut, which leads to this great exchange:

Potential client: "$60 for 4 minutes?"
Tyson: "Well, maybe more like 5 minutes."
Potential client, her voice ripe with sarcasm: "Oh, 5 minutes, then."

And yet, at the end of the challenge, Tab and Tyson are the winners, with more than $700 in sales. Boogie and Ben are dead last with only a couple hundred, and Daisy and Anthony are in the middle. They all did about the same number of heads, too; price was the deciding factor.

The stylists return to their pad and discuss the challenge. Tyson delivers the shin-kick-worthy line "The team of T&T was explosive." Shudders all around. Tyson then asks Tabatha if she'd like to open a kiosk in the mall with him, and for one really weird moment, I wonder if maybe Tyson has a bit of a crush on Tab (he's barking up the wrong tree if he does).

Then a delivery-dude arrives bearing a small wedding cake, with a note that tells the stylists that their partnership has just begun. So the elimination challenge will be bridal hair, and they'll be in the same teams. This should be interesting.

Going into it, I figure Daisy and Anthony have the advantage. Daisy can do some fantastic updos, while Anthony is a wizard with extensions. Boogie can also do a mean updo, but he's handicapped by Ben -- a fact he acknowledges in front of Ben, which is really not cool. What remains unspoken is that Tyson is still not exactly proficient in the upsweeping of hair. And Tabatha still doesn't like him one little bit.

The next day, they gather at the salon, where they find out that their clients are in teams as well: three groups of a bride, mother of the bride and bridesmaid. The hair has to go with the dresses and with the other hair in the group, and of course, nobody better look better than the bride. (Tyson and Tabatha look like they're about to have their own little Village-of-the-Damned wedding.)

Once the call of "Go shake it!" has gone up, the stylists start discussing the wishes of the bridal party. The B&B bride wants to wear her hair down, but Boogie tells her it'll look flat by the end of the day. Daisy tells her bride what an elegant dress she has, and what hair A&D have envisioned for it. T&T tell their clients their plans, and Operation Veil-Proof is in full effect.

Daisy takes the lead on her team, putting her years of salon management to use organizing their time. Anthony puts his expertise to use attaching extensions to the bridesmaid's hair and preparing the bride's hair for an updo with some lift. They're working like a happy, well-oiled machine, and it's really gratifying to see nice people doing something they do incredibly well. (This is why I watch competitive reality TV, and maybe I appreciate the sight so much because I don't get to see it too often.)

Boogie doesn't just take the lead on his team, he steamrolls over Ben, micromanaging him and scoffing at his suggestions. Damn, Boogie. Not cool at all. "Ben was basically my bitch," Boogie tells the camera, and I pretty much lose all patience with him at that point. Their bridal party are all Asian women, and I wish the show had pointed out some of the unique challenges of Asian hair -- including why Ben's coloring of the bridesmaid's hair was a less-than-inspired choice. Yeah, Boogie may be a dink, but he was right about that.

But for sheer tension, you can't beat T&T. They're not explosive; they're caustic and corrosive. Tabatha in particular is spewing venom every chance she gets -- not just to Tyson in front of the clients, about Tyson to the clients. Dude, Tabatha, they don't care how much you dislike him! Not only do they not care, they don't want your disdain intruding on their happy wedding glow. I understand your frustration with Tyson's totally inept French twist, but don't talk about how awful it looks in front of the women whose head it is attached to!

Pass the champagne and let's start the hair show.

There are two guest judges this week: Eber and celebrity wedding planner Mindy Weiss. Mind you, I know bupkis about planning a wedding (Misha, I still owe you an apology for being no help whatsoever when I was your maid of honor). My idea of wedding planning is figuring out when and if Richard Cheese could play a backyard reception. But I think it's awesome that they're considering the wedding aspect of the challenge as well as the hair aspect.

T&T's bridal hair is kinda weird. It's got that strange "ribbon curl" look up top, with a cranium-skimming front part. One of the judges comments that it looks like the rollers were still in it, and I totally agree.

This French twist is just tragic. Even the Belgians are offended by it.

Did they... did they do anything to the mother of the bride's hair? That's nice "dinner out on a Saturday" hair, but no way is it "major family event" hair.

A&D's bridal hair, however, is fantastic. Not too elaborate up front, interesting but not busy in the back.

The bridesmaid's hair is a little more intricate in the back, but it lacks the artistic flair of the bride's hair -- which is as it should be.

And the MOB is still glowing from her transformation, which involved color and a cut.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, waitaminute. Boogie talked his bride out of wearing her hair down and into this?! It looks like a set of dark brown baked goods was attached to her head! And what's with those side pieces?

The bridesmaid's do is better, but that's a problem unto itself. Plus, that color is killing me. Highlighting Asian hair is tricky; it tends to go brassy really easily. As we see here.

I still can't get over how tacky this looks. I imagine this is what the Landlady's hair in Kung Fu Hustle might look like if she took out the curlers after delivering one of her "Lion's Roar" screams... in the mid-1980s. This lovely woman deserves so much better.

In her Bravo blog, Sally Hershberger comments that all of B&B's wedding styles were too trendy (which is putting it kindly), that they wouldn't stand the test of time. And that makes them all wrong for wedding hair, 'cause those are the pictures you'll be pulling out over the years, whether to show them to the grandkids or burn them. You want to look good in those shots, not like an oversprayed fashion victim.

So I figure for sure that Boogie and Ben are going home, and while I'm bummed for Ben, he really did seem out of his league, and as for Boogie? To quote Heidi Klum on Project Runway, "Your taste level wasn't there." But then something happens as the judges talk to the stylists...

For starters, Anthony and Daisy are shoo-ins for the win, and I can't help but notice that they're the only stylists who refer to their clients by name, instead of "her." Look at that photo. Everybody in that group is happy and proud, and that's how you should feel in a wedding. (Anthony and Daisy look happy and proud, too, as well they should.)

The judges are a little unnerved by Boogie talking the bride out of her wishes, but they're really unnerved by the ass quality of hair here, and I don't blame them. I'm also disappointed in Boogie talking nonstop about how he had to ride herd on Ben. The dude isn't fresh out of beauty school, ferchrissakes; show a little respect.

But when it comes time to comment on T&T's hair, the judges are flabbergasted when Tabatha lays all the team's failings at the size-3 feet of Tyson.

Judges (paraphrased): So what went wrong?
Tabatha (paraphrased): Well, I have nothing but respect for Tyson professionally, but he did a bunch of things wrong, and I don't like him as a person. [That last bit was not paraphrased.]
Jaclyn Smith: Pardon me?
Tabatha: I just don't like him as a person.

None of the judges seemed to expect this level of flat-out rancor at the hair show and they all looked stunned. Tabatha even elaborates a little bit more on exactly why she doesn't like him before the judges start responding. The clients were well aware of the hate in the air between Tab and Tyson, and Mindy Weiss rightly points out that that kind of negative energy can really bring down a wedding. It's unprofessional enough at the hair show, but during pre-wedding preparation, it's positively toxic.

So after congratulating Anthony and Daisy on their win (Anthony's second, Daisy's first), the panel delivers a judgment that I totally agree with, even if I can't believe it: Tyson and Tabatha are eliminated. Whoa! They've won about half the challenges so far between them, but I've got to agree: that hair was bad, and the attitude was much worse. The T&T has been defused or detonated prematurely or... hell, I don't know enough about demolition to make a halfway decent pun here.

So the two frontrunners are suddenly out of the race! Now it's going to get really interesting. I'm hoping Anthony, Daisy and even Ben find their inner greatness, and Boogie finds his inner mute button.

Comments

[Mindi]

Holy crap I missed a lot when I fell asleep early last night! Thanks for the recap, I was sure that B&B would be going home, however, given the attitudes, I won't miss T&T all that much.

[Vyola]

I'm loving this show so much and it's for three simple reasons --

1. The challenges feel real and unforced (no dogs!)

2. It's quite clear to even an uninformed viewer if a cut and style are technically good AND if the client is happy. There's little handwaving about aesthetics and editorial intent.

3. Crap work gets you cut -- there's no catering to the cult of obnoxious personalities in the name of "good TV". In the world of real-people customer service, crazy doesn't pay the bills and neither does being unprofessional.

Who knew a competition for hair dressers would have the most honesty and ethics of any reality show out there?

[PolIVamp]

Ah, I loved Tabatha, so I hate to see her go. And while Tyson got on my ever-loving nerves, I don't like seeing him eliminated this early, since I do recognize his talent. This is why I don't like team challenges, period.