9-4: Hair today, gone to--ow!

Okay, okay, I was asking for it with that line. But unlike previous weave-happy seasons, this year's crop of models lost a lot of hair in the makeover episode. Some were delighted, some not so much, but just about everybody looked better with less hair. And I think that's a vote of confidence in the actual beauty of the contestants this time around. Whether they realize it or not, most of these girls have faces that don't need any special framing to look fantastic.

Oh, and of course there's the requisite "ice-blond" makeover where the resulting hair looks like fried ass. It's almost a tradition on this show.

I'm only going to show the makeover photos in this post because just about all the photo-shoot shots were bad. As I was watching the show, I was touched by how encouraging, complimentary and nice the photographer was. But after seeing the shots, I couldn't help but wonder if that kindness led to complacency on the models' parts. On the other hand, maybe the fact that they were all pretending to be plants contributed to the general crappiness of the shoot.

Ambreal loses a little bit of hair, but it serves her very well. She reminds me of an early-90s Roshumba Williams with the new 'do. (I'm getting a real dark-horse vibe from Ambreal. I wouldn't be surprised to see her in the final four.)

Every season, someone is slated for the Beyonce treatment. This time around, it's Bianca. However, those honey-gold tresses on the right? Wig! Bianca's poor hair was so fried from being magenta that the hair stylists couldn't put any more color on it. So they took it all off.

And she looks freaking incredible, although she doesn't yet realize it. Bianca spends most of the episode mourning the loss of her hair. Apparently, she was told repeatedly growing up that people with short hair were ugly. Wow. What an especially pointless prejudice to pass along to your kids. But look at her with damn-near-no hair! Suddenly, she vaults into major contender status.

Chantal is in love with her brand-new cut. What she's not in love with is trying to follow conflicting sets of directions in the photo shoot. The photographer tells her one thing; Jay Manuel tells her the opposite. Instead of trying it each way and maybe coming up with a compromise, she freezes up and almost cries throughout the shoot. "It would have been fine if I had just been able to do it my own way!" she frets to the camera. Hon, that's the marching cry of only children everywhere.

Oh, lord, Ebony. Even without the weave that was rubber-cemented (?!) to her head, I'm still not seeing a model there. All I see is heavily-hooded eyes and an underbite. The panel loved her "bird of paradise" shot from the plant-oriented photo shoot, but I think she just caught a lucky frame there. I give her another 2, maybe 3 weeks.

Heather got minimal overhaul-age, but frankly, she didn't need much work. I must say, I'm starting to drink the Heather Kool-Aid, and darned if I don't like the taste. It could also be that she's learning a lot as she goes, and even apparently overcoming some of her social aversion. She was casually touching one of the other girls while they listened to Nigel Barker's wife give makeup tips, and from my limited knowledge of Ozburgers Syndrome, that's a pretty big deal... I think. Also, she rocked her photo shoot in which the poor thing had to be "weeds." Good on you all around, Heather.

Okay, now I'm starting to see a model here. The dark hair is a total improvement for Janet, and she loves it so much that her step has more of a spring. Plus, she seems to be working on improving her facial angles. I still see a midseason elimination, but Janet is looking good for now.

Well, at least they gave the fried blond crapola to a girl who can model. Honestly, if one of the weaker girls had to pull this look off? They'd unravel like so many split ends -- which is to say, like that craptacular weave. Yes, it does appear to be two different colors, and no, it doesn't even look this good in the rest of the episode. It looks like a dollar-store Halloween wig, and I'm amazed that any semi-reputable salon would send someone out the door looking like this. Still, if anyone can work past this mess of hair, it's Jenah. The photographer loved her and assured her that she'd be signed before too long. Don't give the ending away, dude!

I think Lisa looks awesome more in spite of her new hair than because of it. She's got a tight little cap of curls right now, and that's a hard look to pull off. But she's still one of my favorites, so I'm sure she'll learn how to work with it.

Oy. Every season, there's one transformation that I think was chosen to handicap a contestant who was getting a little cocky out of the gate. This is, frankly, the worst possible look Tyra could have given Saleisha. Her eyes are already widely spaced; putting hair right up to the outer edges of her corneas makes her look like she's some strange human-fish hybrid. And then Tyra complained about Saleisha's photo, saying "we're losing your eyes." Well, of course you're losing her eyes; you put a big ol' hedge of wig all around them!

Sarah now looks a lot like Katee Sackhoff, which means I like her even better. At panel, one of the judges commented that Sarah seemed to be losing weight, which might not be a good thing for the (bizarrely) designated plus-size model. Ya know, maybe she's watched the previous seasons and knows a "plus-size" model never wins, you dingrods!

And once again, we're told from the outset of the episode who will be going home. We see a lot of interviews with Victoria, which is never a good sign, and then she gets the least amount of makeover. Plus, she keeps back-talking Twiggy, so her ouster was inevitable. Personally, I think it was a case of suicide-by-panel. So, one last time: Hey, Victoria, why the long face? Oh, because you're leaving. Okay, then.

Comments

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