I am screaming and punching myself

1-2: What does Emily Post say about a bad wig?

Your take on this episode of Charm School could be influenced by how much reality you credit this show as having. If you think it's a genuine competition of self-improvement, you'll probably think that the judgments reached in this episode are total bullshit. But if you think it's all completely ridiculous, totally scripted and not remotely related to reality in any way, shape or form... you'll have a pretty good time.

Scout's honor!

1-1: Skank-away camp

Oh, of course I'm recapping Charm School! Did you ever think I wouldn't? I've stuck by this godforsaken franchise for so long, I couldn't leave it now. Besides, Charm School turned out to be some of the best TV I've seen in a while.

I'm gonna warn you: this is going to be long. I'm going to go off on many tangents, make several sweeping pronouncements with no basis other than my own half-assed opinion and spitball a lot about the characters of people I've never met.

I know; what a surprise!