I am screaming and punching myself

I'm back (and more boring than ever!)

Holy camole, has it really been almost 2 years since I quit writing here regularly? Dude. Let's see, in that 2 years, I've:

• Finished half of an MBA (yay?)
• Married J (yay!)
• Got laid off a week before I got married (bastidges!)
• Started my own business (Sorted)
• Got diagnosed with polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS--don't worry, I'm fine)
• Adopted an adorable Wirehaired Dachshund puppy (oh, and there will be pictures, people)
• Started looking for another job (yay?)

And amid all that, I kinda missed blogging. Specifically, blogging about the little things in life that can make such a difference, like pet costumery, guilty pleasure TV and the weird things we humans do.

Now, I'm not making any promises about the frequency of the blogging, but it'll probably be semi-regular until I find a job (and even then, who knows?). I will say that I won't be doing the exhaustive pic- and video-heavy recaps of show episodes, 'cause that shit is WORK.

But I did want to let you know that I missed blogging, and missed you, so if you're willing to have me in your feeds, I'd love to light this candle all over again.

Get your pop culture blog fix!

No, I haven't begun the ol' screampunch blog again. (I've started a blog for my business, if you're interested.) But I have received word from a reader of the old blog that he's taken up the torch of blogging about all things mindless and horrifying.

From the mind of A. Jaye (not to be confused, ever, with For the Love of Ray J) comes Thrill Fiction! In his first post out of the gate, Jaye shows great promise: he's picked the screen shots that capture the grim inertness of Buddha, the utter lack of anybody home of Leilene and the sheer 54th-and-Crenshaw-osity of Saaphyri.

I hope A. Jaye continues in this rich vein, and I hope he has more stamina for it than I turned out to have. I also hope you'll give his blog a try, especially if you've been feeling a hole in your heart where desperate VH-1 fame junkies used to be. Much love to all of you, Cath.

Slinking off into the ether

Ah, man. I'm so sorry. You guys are going to kill me. I know I just restarted blogging a few weeks ago, but I think I'm going to have to stop for good. I'd been planning to stop blogging at the end of the year, since I'll most likely be entering a part-time MBA program while holding down my full-time job. But then several events occurred in short succession that led me to think that the universe itself wants me to stop blogging right this minute.

I had planned to recap the premiere of I Love New York 2 this weekend (I actually like her this time around; I guess that's what exposure to the perma-sleaze of Bret Michaels will do to you). But then J and I spent most of our time on a massive landscape project, and honestly, after wrestling with 15-year-old monster shrubs, you don't have much creative energy left. Then I decided to blog about it last night. After taking the GMAT that morning, I was pretty sure I had shot my intellectual wad, but I was determined to get the new recap up before the second episode aired.

No such luck. I was 80% of the way through the recap when I opened another tab in my browser and suddenly, everything froze up and I lost my post in the restart. Then I was going to try again gamely this morning, but I received notification from Dailymotion that two of the four videos I uploaded had been taken down for copyright violations, and it finally occurred to me: someone, somewhere is trying to tell me something. And I think that something is "give it up, sister."

So I'd like to thank you all for giving me a second chance, and apologize for squandering it. You've been an awesome audience, and I'm grateful for all the comments and emails. Now go find a blogger who won't let you down!

Love always,
C.

Sundry updates, or How I spent my summer vacation

Hey!

First, let me say that I'm beyond touched at all the sweet comments left at the "taking time off" post. You guys are the best. The past few weeks have proven therapeutic and I'm ready to revisit the land of Blogostan. Thanks so much for your kindness and patience.

Okay, I tried to participate in Talk Like a Pirate Day, but I've discovered that I can't maintain an accent to save my life. I'd start off with "Arrrrrgh, th' cat's taken a dump on th' stairrrrhs!" but within two sentences, I'd migrate to a bad Scottish accent and bust out with "Ooch, Mojo, ye're staippin' in it!" Similarly, whenever I do my impression of my best friend's Mexican-American dad, it's a matter of seconds before I'm in my Father Guido Sarducci voice. On the other hand, I can do the bad Scottish and Father Guido voices indefinitely. Invite me to your next party!

J and I took our little party on the road a couple weeks ago, visiting the Eastern Shore town of Chincoteague. The town itself is charming and cute, but we totally fell in love with the Chincoteague National Wildlife Refuge. This national park area has everything you need for the perfect day of outdoor fun: beautifully maintained bike trails, lovely vistas of marshland and seaside, and a fantastic Atlantic beach. (It also has mosquitos. Bring spray. And don't use your teeth to unclog the sprayer if sand gets in it, the way I did. Your mouth will be foul-tasting and oddly numb, and your boyfriend will threaten to take you to the hospital.) Since it's close enough to make a day trip, we'll undoubtedly be back next summer.

Speaking of which, now that my nemesis is on the wane, it's time to venture back outside. J and I have big plans for the yard. We've hired a landscape designer to come up with a plan for our little half-acre of paradise and we're hoping to do most, if not all, of the labor ourselves. What makes this disturbing is that I'm totally into it. I had a blast helping J take down the chain-link portion of the fence last week and I am positively stoked that we're renting a post puller tomorrow. Seriously. I've got a little chant about it and everything: "It's Post Puller Day, heee-eeey!" If you had told me 10 years ago that I would one day greet the rental of garden equipment with the same delight that I greeted the boozefests of my youth, I'd probably have asked to be put out of my misery right then and there. But there's no denying it: what dodgy ecstasy was to my 20s, power tools are to my 30s. Oddly, the chance of accidental disfigurement is about the same.

On vacation/hiatus/sabbatical/medically-induced coma

I'm sorry to do this to you guys halfway through Rock of Love, but I've just got to take a break. I'll be taking the next month or so off to try to get my juju back. I've been blogging for a little over a year, and it's starting to feel like a second job, with all the fun and delight implied by that phrase. I worry that it's started to show in my writing, and as readers, you deserve better than that.

I'm not sure what I'll do after the break; I might jump back into this blog with renewed vigor. I might change the format or cut back on my posting frequency. I might see if I can join another site so I won't be the only party responsible for content. I really can't say right now, but as soon as I figure it out, I'll let you know.

Feel free to poke around in the archives or visit the awesome sites on the right-hand bar there. I hope all 12 of you are doing well and I look forward to writing for you again... when I can look forward to writing. If that makes sense. Thanks for your patronage and patience.

C.

I forgot what 8 is for

Dangit, Gabriel! You were supposed to let me know in a comment about this meme thang. I have been tagged to share eight random facts about myself by my dear friend Gabriel at Modern Fabulousity.

THE RULES
1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

You know the tricky part? Thinking up eight facts I haven't already shared with you guys. Let's see...

Sundry updates

Having slaved through a grueling 4-day work week, I can scarcely organize my thoughts enough to craft a well-written post on one topic, so I'll shift all the contents of my brain over to you in this post, like handing someone a half-filled bucket. And yes, I will grunt as I do so.

- First off, my post about the Star Wars Holiday Special is included in the Star Wars Blog-A-Thon at Edward Copeland's movie blog. There are so many awesome posts there, it's an honor to be included! If you have any interest in the two trilogies, I urge you to visit the 'thon.

- Earlier this week, I think I injured my right shoulder by sleeping on it ... wrong. That's the only thing I can figure. And maybe I'm feeling a little sensitive because I turned 36 on Monday, but the idea that I can hurt myself in my sleep makes me feel not just old but decrepit. I swear, I can see the 5:30 bedtime and the Rascal right around the corner.

A quick note to commenters

I've noticed that the blog readership is growing, which is great. But not all readers are fans, so I've had to delete a few nasty comments lately. Here's the thing: if you think I'm wrong about something, feel free to challenge me on my take on it, but do so respectfully. That means not calling me a "stupid bitch" or suggesting that I need to "get a life and get over [my]self." Similarly, if you don't think something is particularly funny, leave a comment with what you would have said instead. There's always room for more humor on here.

If your comment is nothing but insults, profanity and/or hate speech, I'm taking it down with no hesitation and no apologies. If you leave another, similar comment, I'm banning your IP address so you'll have to shit on someone else's floor. Fortunately, this doesn't apply to the vast majority of commenters, just to a tiny, unpleasant minority.

Basically, don't be an asshole. That's my job.

Sundry updates

I'm still feeling the fallout from the YouTube Account Deletion Debacle, but those of you who read the I Love New York recaps know that I've managed to replace the videos in those posts with vids hosted at DailyMotion. I also managed to save videos from two shows of the second season of Flavor of Love: "2-1: Somethin Stinky This Way Comes" and "2-2: Riding the Pole on the Bus with my Sister." I'll be updating those episodes soon. The rest are, tragically, lost.

I'll also be updating the videos for the Road House and The Decline of Civilization Part II: The Metal Years recaps, as well as for the Star Wars Holiday Special and hopefully Dracula too. Those are pretty time-intensive, but I have a bit of extra time on my hands this week as there were no new episodes of I Love New York or Top Design.

My plan to relieve the longing of the lovelorn on Valentine's Day (through icky, traumatizing videos) has become part of the Carnival of Hijacked Holidays over on Bah! Humbug! I'm considering submitting a post for next month's carnival called "Pinch me on St. Paddy's at your own peril, punk."

And a big thank-you to Lisa for her contribution to the Tip Jar. Thanks for your support, both moral and financial!

In other news, I haven't seen the possum again. I'm not sure whether to be comforted by that, or unnerved by the knowledge that it's probably still out there, but now I don't know where...

On second thought, YouTube can blow me

Arrrrgh. I used to love YouTube, but apparently they had to kill me -- or my account, anyway. In what has got to be the most sweeping case of a company's cutting off its nose to spite its face, YouTube has disabled the accounts of several bloggers that I know of (including the amazing Rich from fourfour) for posting copyrighted material. As Rich so astutely points out, copyrighted material is why people go to YouTube in the first damn place!

Damn. I'll have to see what Flavor of Love and I Love New York videos I managed to save onto my external hard drive, then find a safer place to put them. This well and truly sucks, and the only silver lining I can find is the near certainty that YouTube has shot itself in the foot by removing its main reason for existence.